simplyjimmyd

Dark Returns

No, I’m not talking about legendary porn director, Gregory Dark. There’s no room for him in this business anyway– What with Tom Zupko rivaling Dark’s work with his self-proclaimed, “intense psycho-sexual shit,” and inventing new porn genres which, allegedly, prompted (also) “legendary” lighting-guy, Tim Studley, to remark, “I don’t even think it’s porn really. It’s like Zupko created a new genre.” (See THIS AdultFYI story for more.) Anyway, I’m talking about the debut of M&Ms Dark! That’s right. The wait is over. The much-anticipated candy, M&Ms Dark, has arrived!

M&Ms Dark isn’t so much a “debut” as it is a return. Some of you might have noticed (and sampled) M&Ms Dark candies when they were in limited release not too long ago as part of a marketing collaboration with George Lucas & Company when his final installment of the Star Wars double-trilogy was released. In that iteration of the world-famous candy, M&Ms Dark was known as M&Ms: Dark Force.

Me, I’m a dark guy. I like many things dark: Dark-haired women, the dark meat off a turkey, and dark chocolate. So, for me, M&Ms Dark is a welcome arrival for those times when I have a sweet-tooth urge. Plus, some doctors say dark chocolate is good for you. I’m not sure how it’s good for you but if some doctors say it’s good it must be good. What do I know, right? I gotta count on the advice of someone in these matters. It might as well be some doctor. They go to school for a long time, ya know?

I’m not sure if the myths surrounding green M&Ms will also apply to green M&Ms Dark. I guess time will tell with that one. Perhaps green M&Ms Dark could become the official candy of the jizz biz? Maybe the M&Ms company would be interested in that kind of a relationship? Ya think? Maybe? I’m thinking they could package M&Ms Dark–with green-coated candies only–in special porn packaging. Possibly with Jenna or Tera on the package? Sort of like the way Babe Ruth was the inspiration for Baby Ruth candy bars. Stranger things have happened, right?

Here’s some technical info about M&Ms Dark for anyone interested:

Calories	240
	Fat Calories	100
	Total Fat	11g		17%
	Saturated Fat	7g		35%
	Trans Fat	0g
	Cholesterol	5mg		2%
	Sodium	10mg		0%
	Total Carb.	33g		11%
	Fiber	2g		8%
	Sugar	27g
	Protein	2g
	Vitamin A*			0%
	Vitamin C*			0%
	Calcium			2%
	Iron

Posted by jimmyD under It's all the same crap. | Comments (0)

Taylor Ash Ain’t a She-Male

Normally, I take little notice when AVN fails to get things right. This is the jizz biz, after all, where pissing is passed off as squirting and a Donkey Punch is just a bit of harmless fun. But in AVN’s short article about Damaged Pictures’ upcoming horror flick… I mean, skin flick titled, “Hermaphrodisiac,” AVN’s Eddie Adams refered to Taylor Ash as a she-male.

I’m not sure what constitutes a she-male in AVN’s definition book but I’m guessing even their definition–as wrong or right as it might be–wouldn’t put Taylor Ash in the she-male category.

Take it from a guy who has appraised Ms. Ash’s genitalia from close-quarters: There’s plenty of “she” there but I observed no “male.”

Anyway, I hope that clears it up for people. I understand Ms. Ash is now represented by LA Direct and I’m sure the management at LAD would be surprised to learn that Taylor is a she-male… which, she ain’t. I’m also thinking veteran meatpuppet, John West, would also be somewhat surprised to discover this as I shot him in a scene wherein he fucked Taylor quite soundly soon after Ms. Ash’s hermaphrodisiacal adventure.

Posted by jimmyD under It's all the same crap. | Comments (0)

Nautica Thorn Productions Kicks Into Gear

I was thrilled to be on the crew of Nautica Thorn Production’s inaugural project, “Nautica Thorn’s All Access.” I’ve shot Nautica off and on since she came into the biz and, in the two-and-a-half years since she first arrived, I’ve watched her grow into a first-rate, stellar performer. Not only is she a sweetheart off-camera but she’s grown more beautiful and alluring each time I’ve shot her and, for her company’s first flick, she looked awesome, savagely dove into her scenes, and handled herself like the professional she is behind the camera in the role of director.

We shot the show this past Saturday at TTSLoft in North Hollywood. It was an ambitious day with 6 scenes scheduled. I wasn’t sure a new company could pull off six, quality scenes in a day–usually, I’m not sure any company, new or old, can pull that off–but that’s exactly what we did. The production ran like a well-oiled machine thanks, in no small part, to some truly excellent production management.

Nautica had booked me to shoot stills– both for the DVD’s artwork as well as the hardcore. Long-time vet, Jack Remy, was the DP and operator. That meant two artful codgers were responsible for capturing the visual elements of Nautica’s company’s first flick.

The cast was first-rate and included Nautica (in two scenes), Charlie Laine, Alexa Lynn, Katja Kassin, Kat, Naomi, and Naudia Styles. Meatpuppet chores were provided by Tommy Gunn, Nick (Droppin’ Loads!) Manning, Anthony Hardwood, and Scott Nails.

If Nautica Thorn Productions keeps shooting hardcore like “Nautica Thorn’s All Access,” I’m predicting fans–not only Nautica’s fans–but fans of quality-produced, hardcore porn are going to love this new company’s titles. Am I saying this because I was booked for the show? Yes and no. I’m able to say this, of course, because I was booked and on the set. I’m also saying it because it’s the straight-up, freakin’ truth.

Posted by jimmyD under It's all the same crap. | Comments (0)

Houston Don Chimes in on Porn Scribes

Houston Don writes:

Hi Jimmy!
I read your latest blog commentary about Porn Scribes and liked it so much that I figured I’d comment. The whole cottage industry, as you put it, sprang forth from the popularity of the internet more than anything else. Prior to that, there had been a number of Bulletin Boards but the ability to reach a larger audience was what has driven the matter thus far. Like the printing press took the world by storm, so too has the net because people from all walks of life enjoy sharing their ideas. Prior to the net, there were very few forums that a porn lover could discuss the genre, leaving it to the publishers to decide what would be talked about and how.

In a sense, you’re right to point to AVN as inspirational in this regard because as “the” industry trade magazine, it tends to promote a very specific agenda. They sell advertising space and are looked upon to provide the sanitized version of the industry to the world whereas Luke, Mike, Todd, Gram, and the scores of others are not so burdened. The same holds true for the review websites where Den, Roger, and numerous others are able to provide a look at the movies themselves, without relying on the usual style the trade magazine provides most movies. Just as it wouldn’t be realistic to expect AVN to run expose’s on most of the faults in the industry, there is clearly enough interest to keep these sources going (some of which are quite profitable while others are labors of love, for lack of a better term).

Porn may be crap, as you put it, but that doesn’t diminish it’s value to many people as stroke material, some of who wish to know more about it and those involved. Your point of view happens to be insightful and often clever, a couple of traits that made Quasar’s ranting board so interesting so keep up the good work and keep calling them like you see them.

Take care, Don

Thanks, Don! If there’s one thing you’ve proved, by writing in with your commentary, it’s that there’s at least one person out there who occasionally reads my blog. That’s all the proof I need to keep me going with this thing.

Posted by jimmyD under It's all the same crap. | Comments (0)

Porn Scribes

There’s two kinds of people who write about porn: 1) Those who make porn and, in their spare time, write about it and 2) those who don’t. (Make porn, that is.)

The porn scribe minority, i.e., the two or three long-time porn scribes who regularly make porn, usually have less to say than the majority. (The majority being those porn scribes who don’t make porn, leastwise, they don’t make porn regularly.)

I think there’s a simple reason why people–people like me–often have less to say. It probably has something to do with a ho-hum attitude towards a lot of the stories that appear on the non-porn-making, porn scribe sites. I guess when you’ve done this porn thing thousands of times a lot of the stories that you read about it, e.g., stories about crazy, whacky shit happening on a set or the crazy antics of porn stars, elicit responses (at least from me) that are kind of in the apathetic, “Yeah, so?” category.

Is there any hidden meaning to these observations I’m making? Probably not. No. No hidden meaning here. Does this mean you should only be reading what guys like me have to say about porn because guys like me have more insight into this shit than guys unlike me? Again, no. That’s not what I’m saying at all. In fact, I’m really not sure what I’m saying. I’m just saying, ya know?

This stuff I’m writing right now only occured to me because A) I’m bored and B) as I was checking out The Floating World a few minutes ago I realized how many people are writing about this porn thing. Man! A lot of people write about it! I remember when it was pretty-much just Luke Ford and, uhh… AVN. (Although unlike the chicken and the egg, we all know who came first: AVN.)

But it’s almost like AVN and Ford spawned a little porn-scribe cottage industry! Does this mean they mated somewhere along the way? I don’t think I want to think about that. The thought of Paul Fishbein and Luke Ford procreating a whole bunch of Little Lukes and Little Pauls is not pleasant; especially as its near my dinner time. Anyway, regardless of how they came to be, along came these semi-begotten children of AVN and Lukey. (Although some of them aren’t writing anymore–Quasarman comes to mind.) And somewhere later along the way there was a deluge of people who arrived and began writing about this crap.

I’ve been doing this porn-blogging thing for, I think, over four years. I don’t keep real good track of this kind of stuff so I can’t say exactly how long I’ve been doing it. But I think it’s four or five years. And there’s others who’ve been doing it for a number of years as well but, again, I don’t keep track and I can’t say who they are and how long they’ve been in the porn scribe game.

Oh well. I guess there’s never a dull moment in Pornville which probably accounts for so many having so much to say so often and for so long. Again, don’t look for meaning in any of this, I’m just making observations here. Have a great week.

Posted by jimmyD under It's all the same crap. | Comments (0)

Can Porn Be Art?

Can porn be art? Probably not. Maybe. I’m not sure. Can porn stars be art? Well, to quote Curley, from The Three Stooges, “Why soytainly!”

Just recently, while shooting Nautica Thorn, things were moving along nicely and in a timely fashion. (How unusual on a porn set, no?) I’d shot everything the producers, Anarchy Films, wanted and I said to Nautica, “Let’s shoot some artsy shit.” She agreed. I love it when beautiful women are agreeable. So I pulled over this round, black thing I have in the studio and asked naked Nautica to climb on board.

We only snapped a dozen pics or so but I kind of like the artsiness of this one, especially in B&W. Maybe I’ll get it printed big and use it as a wall-hanger. It might look better than my signed collection of Elvis-on-black-velvet paintings autographed by the arteest … some guy named Juan or Miguel, I’m not sure.

Anyway, here’s Nautica in a very un-porn like image. She looks like a cat ready to pounce, don’t she? She can pounce this way anytime.

Posted by jimmyD under It's all the same crap. | Comments (0)

Friction X

I travelled down to Huntington Beach yesterday to shoot stills and video for a new company, Friction X

These guys aren’t just new, they’re brand new. And being they’re young and smart, they opted to go with a not-so-young but experienced shooter to capture their content. That would be me, the not-so-young and experienced one.

I’m not saying this because I’m not-so-young. If you know me, you know I’m not… so young, that is. But it seems like a lot of not-so-old companies of the young and new variety like to hire young and inexperienced guys to shoot their stuff. Smart move. You’re just starting out and you’re banking on shooters that barely know how to turn a camera on or, assuming they do know how to turn cameras on, they barely know what they’re doing with those cameras in their hands.

I guess that’s because young guys know so much more about what’s hot and what’s cool and what works then older guys who’ve been doing this for, well, forever do. I mean, everyone wants to push that envelope and take porn to “new levels,” right? What better way to do that than with fresh and creative content shooters who are going to make porn like porn’s never been made before!

I’ts amazing how these new guys can capture stuff guys like me never even thought could be captured. (That was sarcasm.) And they do so with camera angles and approaches to content shooting that I sure never thought of, much less thought I could capture.

Does this sound like I’m saying age discrimination exists in porn? Hell no! Fuck that! I’m not saying that at all.

Here’s what I’m saying: I’m saying that some of the dumbest fucks I’ve ever seen have come into this business lately, spending someone else’s money and ending up with shit-on-tape. These dumb fucks aren’t even smart enough to hire a photographer, for instance, who’ll give them a great boxcover. Ooops! I think I just dated myself. They’re not “boxcovers” anymore. It’s clam-shell inserts or jewel-case artwork. Sorry. Guess I’m just an olde fuck who doesn’t know any better.

Anyway, I guess these Friction X lads are young and smart. Smart enough to want some quality along with the heat in their content.

Now let me educate a few of you out there: Directors and shooters don’t create the heat. Performers create the heat. Put the right two people together and heat will surely result. Sure, directors and shooters contribute to the capturing of that heat. They do it in many ways. They cheer lead the performers. They think up new ways for people to fuck in front of a camera and… wait, scratch that. There are no new ways to fuck in front of a camera. In fact, not only has everything been done, it’s been done thousands of times.

I suppose some younger and, obviously, more creative directors and shooters (younger and more creative than me, that is, and others like me) might think up stuff like a donkey punch or other forms of misogyny but that ain’t fucking. That ain’t even sex. Sorry to burst anyone’s bubble, but it ain’t. It’s porn’s equivalent of Jackass. It’s simply misogynistic crap that, in light of some legal cases lately, might get someone prosecuted. Maybe someone like you, you young and barely done anything pornographer with all those new and never-been-seen-before ideas.

And let me set the record straight on something else: I ain’t bitter. Jaded? Maybe. But not bitter. I’m simply amused. Some of you new people really crack me up. Here’s a brief example of what I’m talking about.

I know of a shooter who, a while back, tried to take my gig away from me at a certain company. When asked why he should be shooting for them instead of me, JimmyD, this new and young guy’s answer was one word: “Angles.” That’s right. He knew camera angles I never thought of. Now, I can assure everyone that there ain’t a square inch of air space around two or more people fucking that I haven’t placed a camera. And my camera has been angled in every way possible within that air space. But this clown says he knows angles I never dreamed of. Dude! Put the pipe down for a day or two! When you’ve seen everything I’ve shot–and that would be thousands of scenes and tens of thousands of photographs–then you can tell some potential employer you know some shit to shoot JimmyD hasn’t thought of or already shot.

And before anyone starts thinking I’ve got a big head, let me assure you I don’t believe I came up with anything particularly new either. The guys who came up with the new shit are mostly all gone and they came up with it when all this was relatively new.

Another example: That lovable Skeeter. Skeeter used to regularly come by my office and tell me–sometimes show me by lying on the floor and demonstrating–all the new ways he had invented for performers to engage in sodomy and other sex stuff. I didn’t have the heart to tell Skeeter he hadn’t invented anything new but I’ll tell you what I think Skeeter did invent: He invented new ways to convince people that he invented new ways for people to have sex. That might even be better than inventing what he claims to have invented. In fact, I’m pretty sure it is.

Anyway, I wish the Friction X guys luck. It’s a tough business. Especially these days with so many new people shooting so much new stuff no one has ever seen before. But ya know what? Here’s how I look at it: If someone can stay the course, which takes patience, perserverance, good decision-making, no stealing, and enough operating capital to hang in there, quality will always, eventually, get people’s attention and grab a share of the market. That’s the way it is in all businesses and porn, in many ways is as much like other businesses as it can be different from them.

Because I’m so generous, I’ve posted some images of the very lovely Alexis that I snapped for Friction X. You know, just to make reading through my blather a bit more palatable… if that’s possible.

Posted by jimmyD under It's all the same crap. | Comments (0)

Playing with Nautica Thorn

I spent yesterday shooting Nautica Thorn for Anarchy’s best-seller interactive line, “Playing with…”

More girls in this business should conduct themselves, on set, like Nautica. I’m not saying there aren’t others who treat their jobs the way Nautica does, but for those who don’t, you should.

She’s fun, friendly, energetic, professional, shows up on time and prepared, doesn’t act like a Diva (at least, that’s always been my experience with her) and contributes good ideas, always playing and cheating appropriately to the camera. As a big bonus, she’s VERY easy on the eyes. Did I mention she performs a kick-ass sex scene? No? Okay. She performs a kick-ass sex scene.

Nautica’s been in the business for about two-and-a-half years now. I’ve shot her various times throughout her adult career and she keeps getting better.

BTW, the girl is launching her own producton company, Nautica Thorn Productions. She’s also heading to the U.K. at the end of the month to star in a new, Fox Television , reality series, My Bare Lady.

The TV series sounds fun– Nautica, along with a few other chicks from the biz, will be going to London where they’ll be enrolled in acting classes and, afterwards, appear in a legit play. They’ll also be participating in photoshoots for Maxim and FHM. Cool, huh?

Nautica’s website is EnterNautica.com

Look for Nautica in Anarchy’s upcoming Playing with Nautica Thorn #2. That’s right, this is the second volume for Nautica in this great series. I guess the first one did pretty well… good enough to spawn a second one, right? Fans of interactive DVDs will enjoy Nautica in this latest installment. Yeah, that’s a JimmyD Seal of Approval I just stamped on it.

Okay. I’m done sucking people’s dicks in this not-so-subtle PR-ish entry. Back to being a good-natured prick as soon as I figure out something else to write about.

Posted by jimmyD under It's all the same crap. | Comments (0)

Is There Dignity in Cyber-Pissing Matches?

I’m often amused when Luke Ford gets into pissing matches with the likes of AVN staffers.

Luke, who squanders too much of his time, in my opinion, writing about his adolescent crush on the nepostically-fortunate porntographer, Holly Randall, posting threats, legal or otherwise, from outraged people who see Luke’s form of online journalism as libelous, or taking the so-called high moral ground, pontificating on his Jewish beliefs, is enjoyably readable when he manages to stir the ire of the likes of senior AVN editors.

But why do AVN’s people fall for Luke’s subtle bait? While they engage in pissing matches over things as foolish to bandy back and forth as plagiarism — You plagiarize! No! You plagiarize! — I can’t help but wonder if there aren’t more important things for the editorial staff of my industry’s #1 trade publication to focus on. You know, things like the recent 2257 inspections or where this industry is heading (other than to hell in a handbasket) or what’s going on with so many companies taking a production hiatus.

I guess I’m wondering, where is the journalistic dignity is in all this? Do journalists at the NY Times cyber-squabble with journalists from the Washington Post? Okay, maybe that’s not a good example. That would infer that Luke Ford and AVN are somehow on a journalistic par with the likes of journalists from those two newspapers. But do reporters from the National Enquirer get into ethics pissing matches with writers from Mad Magazine?

Oh well. Just another day in the jizz biz, I guess.

Posted by jimmyD under It's all the same crap. | Comments (0)

Nothing Damaged In My Business with Damaged

I just read Gene Ross’s article recounting the alleged unresolved differences arising from J.T. Bone’s dealings with Damaged Pictures. I say “alleged” because, truthfully, I don’t know much of anything about it. I do, however, know the players involved. I have had, or still have, business relationships with all of them. The “have had” refers to Bone. The “still have” refers to Damaged.

Personally, and let me say, upfront, no one has contacted me asking me to write this, but personally and based on my knowledge and experiences with the players involved in this dispute, I feel compelled to say that in all my dealings with Damaged Pictures, that is, with Blaine, Steve, and Lewis, I’ve always known them to be straight-up guys. I can’t say the same for Mr. Bone.

No, I don’t have an axe to grind with John T. Bone. He is what he is and most people who’ve done business with him, whether as a shooter or a performer or whatever, knows of what I speak. I’m not trying to get into a pissing match with John nor am I going to recount actual events or experiences of which I have first-hand knowledge. But my first-hand knowledge of all these guys, both Damaged Pictures’ people and Mr. Bone, leads me to question the seemingly one-sidedness of what’s being said in Gene’s article.

I’m posting this because, sometimes, only one side of a story with one, apparent, point-of-view, gets publicized and I’m an equal-opportunity kind of guy.

If someone handed me a piece of paper with the four names recounted in Gene’s story on that list and said, “Of these people, who do you trust?” My answer would be immediate and not require any thought whatsoever. I would name three of them and only one person on that list would not be in my reply.

Posted by jimmyD under It's all the same crap. | Comments (0)