Netflix move over. There's a new home entertainment service in cyber-town and its name is Rent-a-Dildo.

That's right, folks. Why trudge down to the wrong side of town to your local, seedy, adult store to spend way too many bucks on a cheap piece of Hong Kong-made silicone when you can have it delivered to your door for only $19 a month?

That's right! $19 a month lets you select from over 1,000 sex toys! From Dildos to Vibrators to Butt Plugs to even more exotic stuff like the "Tera Patrick Ultimate Erotic Love Doll" or the "Jenna Jameson Ass & Pussy" and more! It's all just a click or two away.

Here's how Rent-a-Dildo works: Choose the toy(s) you want from over a thousand available and Rent-a-Dildo rushes you clean toys in discreet packaging. You keep each toy as long as you want and when you return your used toys, you get new ones mailed to you!

Worried about using funky soiled dildos?

Not a problem!

Rent-a-Dildo has developed a patent-pending process (that's right, it's "patent-pending") for thoroughly cleaning each toy before it is sent out to you, the customer. So no worrisome concerns about someone else's STD being mailed to your doorstep.

Does Rent-a-Dildo include batteries?

Many of their toys are battery-operated. When you order a toy you can simply select the "batteries included option" for a small fee and you'll get the appropriate batteries to power your toy right in the box!

Best of all, you can keep each toy for as long as you want. There are no late fees! There's only a monthly subscription fee of $19 for one toy out at a time, $29.99 for two toys, and $49.99 for the Golden Dildo plan with three toys out and priority to receive new, unused toys as rentals.

jimmyD sez: Why didn't I think of this? I think I'm gonna sign up for the "Golden Dildo Plan" right now!



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