I've always liked Skeeter Kerkove, right from the first time I met him when he was simply suitcase pimping for his lovely wife, Bridgette.

I'll admit Skeeter's a bit intimidating with all the tats and shaved head and the weird chin hair. But right away, Skeeter overcomes all this with his friendly smile and humorous personality. Yeah, he sometimes tends to drone on a bit when he's talking about his wife, but the man's in love--with her, with the money she makes, with both probably--so you can't hardly blame him.

Through all of Bridgette Kerkove's rise to adult stardom, Skeeter always knew his place. He always remained dutifully in the background. Of course, wherever Bridgette might be, Skeeter was nearby or soon to arrive, but he always remained the Mister Kerkove to Bridgette's Bridgette Kerkove, if you get my meaning.

Suddenly, all that's over and Skeeter is Mr. Hi-Profile; A rapidly rising star and recognizable figure inside and outside of the jizz biz.

One look at that staged little publicity stunt with Harry Weiss at Metro and you knew Skeeter had become Mr. ShowBiz! (Ok, maybe Mr. Adult ShowBiz). And for those of you who weren't sure if that was a publicity stunt or not, Metro's Harry Weiss told me candidly that if it were real, the photos would have told a very different story: One of Harry kicking Skeeter's ass clear into next week! But, hey, I don't want to start any shit between a rising star and his marketing genius so we'll leave that one alone. Besides, Metro didn't bother to send me that particular press release. Privately, Harry admitted he didn't think sending it to me would have been in the best interest of Metro, Skeeter, or his career. Of course, when Harry told me this, I feigned agreement yet hid my astonishment and dismay.

But enough about me and Harry, let's get back to Skeeter.

Suddenly, Skeeter is in this cyber-feud with Guage, or Gauge, or Gage, I'm still not sure how her name is spelled. She's even in a movie I made--PLAID 2--and I wasn't sure how to spell her name back then either. Anyway, both lukeford.com and generossextreme.com have picked up on the fight. Simplyjimmyd.com, of course, shy's away from content as tawdry as this.

In a nutshell, there seems to be some kind of dispute regarding a free website that, I guess, is all photos of, uhmm...the girl whose name is the same as the thing in your dashboard that tells you if you're out of gas.

I found reading the back-n-forth between Skeeter and whatshername a little tough to follow. I think the bottom line is that Skeeter thinks the girl is in-bred, trailer park trash, and she thinks Skeeter is stealing her thunder (and maybe some potential cash) with these free sites, but beyond that, I don't have a fucking clue what they're dissing each other about.

Back to Skeeter.

There was a time when Skeeter couldn't construct a single fucking sentence without somewhere in that sentence being the name, Bridgette. I'm not putting that down, it's just the way it was. Now, when I read about Skeeter, I almost never hear the name Bridgette mentioned! The only name I'm hearing is Skeeter's! What's up with that? Who's the freaking star here anyway? The one with the tats or the one with the tits? (Tits or tats... hehehehe... pretty fucking funny, as Mike Raven would say.) Anyway, inquiring minds wanna know what gives here. Is Skeeter slated to replace Ron Jeremy as the unofficial spokesman for the entire adult industry? Will Skeeter be shoving chopsticks up his own ass in some future Metro release?

Maybe Harry Weiss can explain this triple-X connundrum in a VIMPR.

(For those who don't know, the above listed acronym would be a 'Very Important Metro Press Release.')




"