You'll find quite an enticing lead article on Gene Ross's site this morning. The headline reads, 'The Taste of Piss.' So I poured myself another cup of Joe thinking if Gene's site was a publicly traded company, and I owned some stock in it, this article might be a 'sell' indicator.

Here's a bit of today's Gene:

'I instructed her to lie down on her back in a pool of my piss, and put her legs over her head. Then I told her to piss into her own mouth and drink it. She did just that. She hadn’t really pissed all day, so her urine was plentiful and plenty yellow. It streamed down her chest into her mouth, leaving a long golden streak. She drank each mouthful of her own waste like some sort of deranged human toilet. I must admit, it was fan-freakin-tastic!'

I must admit, it made me nearly spew my coffee.

But then, I thought, maybe I'm being too judgemental here. Maybe I'm being just a tad narrow-minded. Maybe there's more to this pissing thing than meets the eye. If an intelligent, well-read, educated guy like Gene Ross can extoll the virtues of piss drinking, maybe I should open my mind to the possibility that it's a positive practice.

So I take off on one of my web-surfaris looking for anything positive on drinking piss. It didn't take me too long before I found Jesus-Diet.com.

Yep, a Christian site promoting the drinking of one's own urine for both health and spiritual purposes.

'If you believe in me, you will never thirst... Rivers of living water shall flow from your bellies.' (John 7:38)

Thank you, Jesus! All this time I been pissing in a bowl, pissing in my pants, pissing up a tree, pissing into the wind, pissing away time and money, and pissing people off, when all this time I could have quenched my thirst with rivers of living water right outa my belly! Who woulda thought!

'Urine is a medicinal, cleansing, and nourishing food...with a surprising ability to cure an amazing variety of ills...which has been scientifically-proven, and medically-documented.'

I'm beginning to think some of those folks at Extreme found this site before I did. Here I thought they had this Britni girl drink her own piss for the shock value of it, when instead, she's drinking her way to better health. That's it! I'm throwing away my 'George Foreman Lean Mean Grilling Machine,' my 'Juice-O-Matic,' and all those bottles of vitamins.

'The life ("life-force") of the flesh is in the blood,and as urine comes from the blood, it contains that life-force...'

Wait a minute. Are we talking the same 'force' here that Luke Skywalker feels? You mean the secret of the Jedi lies in drinking one's own bilge water?

'Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit... therefore, glorify God in your body.' (I Corinth 3:16; 6:19-20).

Well, there you go. We glorify God when we drink our own piss. Does this apply to eating one's own shit as well? I'm totally confused. Will I go to hell if I don't drink my own piss? Is pissing anywhere but in my own mouth sacreligious? If I decide to spread the word of God to others, should I be pissing into their mouths? Is Gene Ross' site really a front for a radical Christian piss-drinking, shit-gobbling cult?

Well, fortunately, it's time for me to go to work. Perhaps others out there can answer these, and other important questions. If so, drop me a line.




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