SC: AS MY ROMAN ANCESTORS WOULD SAY, "TEMET NOSCE"
_POSTEDON 2002-06-18 21:38:23 by jimmyd |
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jimmyd _writes "
Sin City refuses to stay out of the news for at least another day.
Chuck Martino called me today. I guess all this Sin City stuff on my site the last few days has made me the talk of the town, uhmm, I mean of the city. Anyway, it's certainly loosened a pair of lips or two at the company's prestigious state-of-the-art, West Valley production facility.
Chuck tells me the Godfather himself, the Porn-Capo di'Tutti Fruiti, David Sturman, is in town. No word on if he arrived on horseback. I asked Chuck if David is here to rally the troops and somehow when I said 'is' and 'rally' I think Chuck thought I said "is-rally," or maybe he thought I said, "Israeli." Whatever he thought I said, it really got him hot under the collar, and he started shouting, "Fuck those is-rallys!"
By the way, if you're not too porn-biz savvy, and you don't know who Chuck is, he's a well-known guy whose been around for quite a long time. Chuck's been and continues to be talent, i.e., a meatpuppet. He's probably been in a thousand or more scenes, and he's certainly fucked many of the finest this biz has ever used and abused. Chuck's also been a producer of quite a few projects, and for a time, he was Sin City's production manager and a producer of a bunch of Sin City's hottest gonzo lines.
Okay, now try and bear with me here because unlike the former porn journalist, Luke Ford, I don't use a tape recorder and I count on remembering what people tell me. Then I kind of retell it and even if I put quotes around stuff, it doesn't mean that's what they actually said, it just means that's kinda what they said, and it's kinda how I remember it, but it's kinda changed as if I was writing the dialogue for them. That's why I don't use a lot of quotes around stuff.
Anyway, I guess Chuck was doing these gonzo lines for Sin City--and I hear the product he was making was really excellent--when somehow this guy named Guy who is the oldest son of this guy who is the Israeli duplicator at Sin City managed to get involved as a director of these shows. How this guy, Guy, made the jump to light-speed and became a director is beyond the realm of my comprehension. Chuck may have explained it to me, but I don't remember, so it must not be important cause I always remember the important shit.
When I knew this Guy, he was this Israeli guy who worked for his Dad in the duplication room at Sin City, and his job was to yell at the illegal alien Israelis who worked there sort of like indentured servants and who only spoke Hebrew, and always seemed sad and pathetic.
This other guy, Guy's Dad, had duplication pretty much locked down at Sin City because according to him (Guy's Dad) David was indebted to him because he took a fall and went to jail when he (Guy's Dad) wouldn't roll on the Sturmans when they had their legal problems, even though the Feds offered him (Guy's Dad) some kind of deal if he did. Like I said, if this is true or not, I don't know, but it's what the guy--not Guy the guy, but this guy, Guy's Dad--told me. I figured it sounded kinda bogus because it seemed to me he shoulda been deported or something, but what do I know? Plus he--Guy's Dad--was supposed to be some kind of hero of one of the wars Israel had with the Arabs. He was a General or something, and a tank commander, which somehow led him into the porn business: I get this image of him driving this big tank right onto a porn set. Anyway, more than that I don't know. It's what the guy, Guy's Dad I mean, once told me. But you should also understand that all Israelis have the 'Israeli Disease,' as Micky Blank often told me. Micky, the former General Manager of Sin City, explained the Israeli Disease to me: "Every time their lips move, they lie!" So you see how confusing this shit is? And believe it or not, most of porn's business relationships are just just like this.
Well, before you know it, Chuck's out on his ass and this guy, Guy, has the gonzo lines all to himself and, according to Chuck, he's making some hardcore extra-curricular dough offa them. Now my memory's a little sketchy here, but at some point Chuck makes some kind of threat against this guy, Guy, for some under-handed, Israeli-style tactics Guy used in stealing the gonzo lines from Chuck. But you need to understand that this is Chuck Martino talking so a threat isn't really a threat. I mean, yeah, it sounds like a threat, and it looks like a threat, and it even smells like a threat, but it's not. Why? Because it's Chuck. And anyone who knows Chuck knows he isn't much of a threat kinda guy, if you get what I mean. But according to Chuck, this guy, Guy, is a "a little fucking backstabbing Israeli pussy," and so Guy runs to his Dad for protection from Chuck's big bad threat.
Now unlike this guy, Guy, Guy's Dad is an action kind of guy who takes all threats very seriously. I guess if you're an ex-Israeli military type, that's the way you'd be too. I mean, c'mon, he was a hero, a tank guy, and a General, and, don't forget, he was also a guy who said "Fuck you!" to the Feds and did his time for the Sturmans who went away anyway. So the next time Chuck walks into the Sin City building, this guy, Guy's Dad, tells Chuck he's fired! Fired from what you ask? Well, it seems Guy's Dad, besides owning the lucrative duplication business at Sin City, also owns the lucrative DVD authoring business there too. And it further seems that Chuck was doing some kind of work for him in the authoring department. Like I said, well, maybe I didn't say, but Chuck's an all-around talented kinda guy. So it makes sense he'd be doing something like that. Anyway, Chuck tell's Guy's Dad that Guy should be defending himself, but of course he's a pussy so he can't, and that he, Guy's Dad, should stay out of it. But Guy's Dad is having none of that and makes good on the "you're fired" thing, so Chuck is now really and completely out on his ass.
And just when you think it couldn't get any worse, it does.
Seems Chuck owed $600 to Guy's Dad. For what, Chuck didn't say, and I didn't ask. But I should mention that in owing this $600 to Guy's Dad, Chuck has broken one of the most important, cardinal rules of the porn business. I mean, I'm surprised God himself didn't write this one down on one of Moses' tablets: NEVER BE IN DEBT TO AN ISRAELI! So rather than talk to Chuck about it and make some kind of plan for the repayment of the money (I guess it was being taken outa Chuck's check when he worked in the DVD department), Guy's Dad decides to go to one of Chuck's other employers, a certain porn company well-known for their young-girl series, and tells them that if they don't give him the $600 (because he knows Chuck's working for them as a production manager on an upcoming shoot), then he, Guy's Dad, will be calling up to GVAwest and telling them not to buy any more of this company's product and to hold up on any payments they owe this company. Needless to say they withheld $600 from Chuck's pay and gave it to Guy's Dad, the General.
Okay, that about wraps up today's little tale of greed, deceit, and treachery at Sin City. But let's not forget that there's hundreds of stories in the Sinful City, and this is just one of them. (I'll bet Tod Hunter knows instantly what vintage TV show I paraphrased that last comment from.)
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