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WHY AUTUMN HAZE DID NOT FUCK WANKER WANG
_POSTEDON 2002-06-27 21:55:51 by jimmyd |
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 jimmyd _writes "In a recent Gene Ross exclusive expose, a young, female porn performer, Autumn Haze, found it necessary to dispell any rumors that might be floating around the business that she had engaged in a sexual liason with Wanker Wang, Extreme's former webmaster and current contributor to lukeford.com.
Here at simplyjimmyd.com, we have no problem believing that Ms. Haze did not engage in any form of sexual relations with Wanker Wang.
As Ms. Haze falls into the category of a typical, young, budding, porn starlet, and considering the writer of this column has had significant exposure and experience with young women like Ms. Haze, we at simplyjimmyd.com feel confident we can list at least ten, good, probably accurate reasons sex did not take place between Ms. Haze, a typical young pornstar, and Mr. Wang:
1. Mr. Wang is employed.
2. Mr. Wang is not drug addicted.
3. Mr. Wang does not engage in violent acts against women.
4. Mr. Wang is not an aspiring rock musician without a glimmer of hope of ever succeeding.
5. Mr. Wang is not a pimp.
6. Mr. Wang is not a loser.
7. Mr. Wang is not a user.
8. Mr. Wang is a nice guy.
9. Mr. Wang is intelligent.
10. Mr. Wang has better sense than to stick his dick in some skanky, possibly disease-ridden, fucking whore like this little cunt.
"
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