UNOFFICIAL UNAUTHORIZED VERY IMPORTANT METRO PRESS RELEASE :: Simply Jimmy D :: Breakin' News or Breakin' Balls: It's all the same to me!

jimmyd _writes "Today, July 1, 2002, Metro Studios pink-slipped Harry Weiss, along with 5 other employees.

"Restructuring," said GM Sam Nelson to AVN Online, was given as the official reason for the lay-offs.

Porn pundits believe it was simply a case of the company no longer wishing to spend money on something most porn companies consider frivolous and unneccessary, i.e., publicity and public relations.

"After all," says a high-ranking porn executive who spoke to simplyjimmyd.com on the condition of annonymity, "look at all the companies that thrive without publicity people. Print a sexy box, throw some piece of shit tape inside, by the time the consumer figures it out, it's too fucking late and too fucking bad. You don't need some high-paid publicity guy to move that kind of business along."

Another well-placed porn exec, also speaking on the condition of annonymity, told us, "This is a cut-throat business. The people in charge--the company owners--they like to keep as much of their profits as possible in their pockets. There's no market research, there's no customer feedback, there's no demographics or statistical analysis, there's only a bunch of greedy pricks looking at the bottom line and little else. P.R.? That's purely for the ego-trippers; purely a luxury. There's only a handful of companies who've figured out there might be more to be made by understanding who your markets are, and developing marketing and publicity strategies to play to them. Hustler comes to mind. So does Digital Playground. And they're both kicking some serious ass!"

A third, annonymous source told us, "Look at that company Extreme Associates. They put out some of the worst garbage in the business. Everyone's been predicting their demise since day-one. But they're still here. Why? Marketing and publicity gimicks. If there's one thing those crazy fucks do over there, they spend every waking minute coming up with some new and whacked-out PR stunt. Look at that internet gag they pulled with the snake eating the dog. That was pure gold. So guess what? Extreme's still here--defying all the oddsmakers--that certainly tells me something about how publicity works."

The staff of simplyjimmyd.com wishes its good friend Harry Weiss the best of luck in all his future endeavors. The SJD staff sincerely hopes that Harry lands himself in a similar, comfy position like the one he had at Metro. Wait! Make that: AN EVEN BETTER, COMFIER POSITION THAN THE ONE HE HAD AT METRO!!!!!

It won't be the same without having Harry Weiss, and his very important press releases, to kick around for a while. Hopefully, a very short while.

As a parting shot--sort of like a JimmyD Seven Gun Salute--the SJD staff all wanted to post this photo of Harry--with all due respect-- because we know he'll be back on his large, fat, flat, feet very fucking soon--and he'll be ready, willing, and more than able for us to fuck with him.

This is for you Harry!

With Love,

JimmyD


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