PORN STAR DNA FOR FREE!
_POSTEDON 2002-08-09 18:06:56 by jimmyd |
|
jimmyd _writes "
At first glance, nothing seems unusual about this picture. A couple of sofas left out in the parking lot of an industrial building for anyone to haul off and keep.
But once you consider that the building you're looking at houses "The Stage," a soundstage in the West San Fernando Valley where, over the years, thousands of porn scenes have been shot. And that the "FREE" sofas have been working components of at least hundreds of sets where hundreds of sex scenes have been recorded. And that most likely hundreds of pornstars have spilled, spurted, and spewed a pond-sized cesspool of bodily fluids upon the fabric of this used, free furniture, you can begin to understand just how special this "FREE" stuff truly is.
Hell, if pornstar DNA were a collectible, I'd be taking possession of these items myself and putting them up on EBay.
Imagine if the individual stains on these couches could be identified? What would they be worth if the pornstar who belongs to each stain were to then autograph his or her stain? It boggles the mind!
Think about it: How many of your favorite pornstars have sucked and been fucked on these couches? How much spooge has dribbled from their mouths, their cooches, their cocks, their hands, and (lest we forget) their assholes, onto the fabric of this furniture? Imagine the sexually tantalizing odors that must waft up from this stuff on a warm, sultry day. Imagine you could take this stuff home and put it in your den or your living room and lie upon it and then watch you favorite porn videos!
Perhaps you actually remember watching a video and greasing your monkey as some famous pornstar relaxed his or her naked body upon these very same sofas and was fucked hard into these cum-drenched cushions. And I say 'his or her' because we must not forget the many, many gay porn scenes also shot here. Porn production facilities aren't homophobic or segregated, ya know.
Wow! Such a deal. Who says nothing worth anything in life is for free?
"
|