Rumor has it that Kick Ass Productions new contract star, Kelly Kickass, may in reality be Metro contract superstar Houston.

A source has revealed that Houston had finally tired of her old Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, and recently went under the knife of the controversial image-sculpting surgeon, Argentinian-born Dr. J. Mengele, Jr. Our source further revealed that Dr. Mengele, Jr. has developed a revolutionary new reconstructive surgical procedure known as "Recycled Poly-Vinyl 2-Litre Cola Bottle Conversion Surgery," or RPV2LCBCS, if you're into acronyms. Dr. Mengele was unavailable for comment and calls to his U.S. clinic have inexplicably been fowarded to the Mossad Office of the Israeli Embassy.

We're told the surgery, however, may have its drawbacks. In a recent review written by an anonymous john on pornstarhookers.com, Kelly/Houston was described in this way: "I booked her for a couple of hours. She looked good, and was up for anything. You could actually blow into her pussy and create a pleasant tone--a B flat I think--but her skin felt like I was fucking a plastic cola bottle, and I swear there were the feint remnants of a bar code imprinted on her ass."

It's believed that Houston/Kelly recently asked former Metro P.R. wiz Harry Weiss to represent her to the Mattel Corporation as a possible add-on to the long-standing Barbie line of dolls and characters. But apparently it was a no-go when Barbie's famous and influential paramour, Ken, complained about her height. The grammatically-challenged Ken is reported to have commented, speaking of himself in the third person as superstars often do, "Ken don't fuck standing on no apple box."

Simplyjimmyd.com wishes Kick Ass Pictures and their new contract star, Kelly Kickass, every success porn has to offer. Any new revelations about Kelly or Houston or whoever she is, will dutifully be reported on this site as simplyjimmyd.com is dedicated to bringing the God's honest truth to its readers.


"