It seems I'm growing in popularity as a reviewer of web-streaming porn trailers. I received this email this morning:

"JimmyD-

Amen to you for ripping on these directors and production companies who feel every product they release is the next coming of Blade Runner.

I agree you need top production quality to create great porn, but spending over $100,000 doesn't necessarily mean the movie will even be good by adult standards. If the girls aren't hot and the sex isn't hot and interesting, no amount of money will make it a better product.

Jimmy, please check out our trailer for Real XXX Letters on www.realxxxletters.com to see what a real trailer looks like."

And so I did.

"Real XXX Letters" is directed by Frank Bonjiorno. Frank, you might recall, was recently the target of some female politician in Minnesota or somewhere. Eventually, she backed off, and Frank backed in...or she backed out and Frank backed back in....whatever....

While I can't say I saw any stand-out production value in the trailer (not that it's not competent), it did leave no doubt in my mind that the subject of this flick is sex. In fact, I'm guessing it's pretty much about nothing but sex. I didn't see much in the way of effects or locations. I didn't hear any dialogue. The trailer was easy enough to watch as the stuff looked like it was decently shot and edited. The girls are certainly good looking. The hook, while not completely presented in the trailer, probably has the girls either writing or reading these XXX letters (my guess is we get to hear them in V.O.), and then whatever fantasy is on the pages of the letters, suddenly comes to life. I think I would've liked to have heard one or two of them talk about some of these fantasies, but oh well, that's me--I didn't cut the thing.

Maybe when you come right down to it, that's all the hook any porno needs. I doubt anyone's going to jerk off to a car chase, or a gun battle, or religious symbolism. But then, if the sex is hotter than the pavement in Palm Springs on a summer day, you can throw all the cars and guns and religion you want into it (as long as the sex isn't upstaged), or you can choose not to, because you see, it's all about the sex baby--the fucking and sucking and whatever else is thrown in to titillate and arouse. It's the fucking fucking action that's the key to good porn. And in the end--assuming you've shot it well and cut it well and it sounds good-- that's what your porn masterpiece, or your porn loop, gets mostly remembered for.

You can view "Real XXX Letters" HERE

Let me add a little postscript here: I don't do this to rip on anyone. I simply calls 'em the way I sees 'em. If someone were to make a flick in this biz that is as erotic as it is cinematic, I'll be the first guy to stand up and cheer. Most of my comments in multiple articles have been targeted at--what I perceive--is producers and directors making XXX movies that seem to treat these two elements as if they are exclusive of each other. And that's the foundation of my criticisms. For instance, I haven't seen a frame of "Paradise Lost." It may very well kick ass! It may pay as close attention to its erotic content as it does its cinematic quality. And if I think it does, I'll say so.




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