HOW PORNSTARS GET FUCKED :: Simply Jimmy D :: Breakin' News or Breakin' Balls: It's all the same to me!

jimmyd _writes "I hear this shit from porn stars all the time: "I got fucked!"

Well, that's your job, isn't it?

But since I'm a little slow on the uptake, it takes a few more questions for me to whittle the meaning of that statement down to its, well, to its meaning. Porn stars who tell me this aren't generally speaking of their last carnal collision on the set or in the bedroom, they're usually speaking of their last collision with a webmaster.

If I had a buck for everytime some female performer told me that some webmaster has fucked her (financially), I'd have quite a wad of bills in my pocket.

In a nutshell, the story goes something like this: The porn star hooks up with some new webmaster who promises to build her a site. Of course, they're going to split the profits. He gets to use her name, or some bastardization of it, for the site's URL, he designs the site, he obtains the registration, he finds or creates the content, he monitors and updates the site, all she's supposed to do is keep doing what she's already doing (fucking, sucking for pay) and sit back and collect her share.

Sounds good, no? Maybe even too good? You bet. There's no such thing as free anything in the skin trades. The girls don't give it away for free, so why they expect anything back for free or almost for free is beyond me.

Oh wait! It's not for free, you say? You worked hard to build your name? You know what, you're right. I apologize. This is not a case of you expecting anything for free, because building your name didn't come without a pricetag.

Okay, so let me tell you what often happens when that too-good-to-be-true Sir Webmaster of Cyberlot makes all those promises that come from exploiting your name--the name you built at great personal expense--on the internet.

First, he will register the URL (which costs practically nothing), and of course he will register himself as owning it. Even if he registers the client (porn star) as the owner, he puts himself down as the administrator and the technical person, and so forth. In other words, he controls everything. You might own it, but it's not going to be easy to do anything with it without him. His buddy or partner, by the way, probably owns the server that the site will sit on so that makes it double hard for the site's namesake to lay any claim on it.

Next, he needs content. Oh, what's that you say? All those companies who have shot you and paid you aren't willing to give up anything more than a few chromes? (And why should they? They paid you for the service and you signed off on the model release.) Well, I guess you and Sir Web need to shoot some "exclusive and unique" content for the site. So that's just what happens. Of course, Sir Web now has possession of this new content which he got for free and which you, the porn star, don't have a freakin' clue what he's doing with other than it's on your site. And if by chance you see that same content on some other sites, he's going to act really, really mad and claim someone stole it off your site and don't worry, he'll be getting his attorneys on it... bullshit...bullshit...bullshit.

Starting to feel fucked yet?

Then he designs the the site and puts it up on the web and guess what? It looks pretty damn good! It's even got that really neat "tour" which lets surfers get an idea what they'll get if they buy a membership. The last page of the tour, of course, is a solicitation to join with all the different packages offered and how much they cost and so forth. And maybe some hardcore fans will join. But for those vast majority of surfers who don't, Sir Web has included a redirect out of the last page to some other site or sites and guess what? That's either making Sir Web some money in click-thru programs, or better yet, it takes the surfers to other sites that Sir Web owns, because the truth is, that's where Sir Web wanted to take the surfers in the first place! It's called re-directing traffic, and what better scam to re-direct traffic but to use some dumb fucking porn star's name? (A name that gets tons of searches on the search engines--way more searches than any generically lame pornsite URL Sir Web could come up with) You see, Ms. Porn Star's name is the bait. And where the surfers ultimately end up is the switch. I think they call it bait-and-switch, which isn't exactly what's going on in the normal bait-and-switch hustle, but it's close enough of a cyber mirror for me to use it as a descriptive term for this e-con.

So what happens? Yeah, a few people actually join the site, which nets the porn star about $22 a month for her share.

What about Sir Web? Well, he get's to redirect a shitload of traffic, making some money for himself that you, the porn star, don't know about. He resells that free "exclusive and unique" content you helped him make, making some money for himself that you, the porn star, don't know about. And he feeds traffic to his other sites, making some money for himself that you, the porn star, don't know about.

Nice scam, huh?

You bet.

COMING SOON: Other scams designed to fuck your favorite porn star...fucked metaphorically, of course.

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WARNING · Extreme Adult Content Discretion Advised