I'm trying to write this press release for my newly-formed enterprise and I'm having a really hard time doing it. I took a stab at writing it both Adella-ish and in a Scott Stein-style, but that just didn't seem to be me.

I woulda thrown a big party at a hip, Hollywood nightclub and projected our newly produced promo on a screen--bought drinks for everyone--booked a DJ (probably Slain Wayne)--even fed all of you, well if crackers and cheese is considered being fed. But my cell phone bill is due and we all know I can barely afford that.

So a press release is going to have to do, even though I'm not a big fan of press releases per se. And you know why I don't generally like them: Because they always read like bullshit--blowing the most trivial details into false-importance. In fact, it's mostly been press releases that have inspired me to write articles that, essentially, bag on the whole intent and the content of said press release. I often suspect that most other people perceive press releases the way I do. Which if that's the case, totally undermines the intended effect of the PR, and renders them practically useless.

But still, when you feel the need to announce something important--at least important to you--you do want to get it out there. And you want to get it out there in a positive light. It's like the difference between photographing a beautiful model in available light, or using artificial lights and reflectors to enhance her beauty, create a mood, or deliver a message. Sure, there's times when the available light is as beautiful as it gets. But more often than not, it's not. You see, even when shooting during the most awesome golden-hour conditions, you're still going to need some fill and some accents. In other words, some artistic human intervention.

So here I am, trying to figure out how to creatively pose this information I want to disseminate, and to get it out there in the most aesthetically-pleasing light. But I want to do it in a way that's not pompous, or arrogant, or too technical, or made to sound too much like it's greater than it actually is. You see my problem here? I want to be truthful and honest. But I want that truth and honesty bathed in warm, sexy light. I don't just want the facts getting out there bare-skinned. I want some makeup applied. But not too much makeup. It has to be balanced. You can see this is pretty difficult.

I guess I could simply spell out the content of the press release, maybe dab a bit of blush here, a little rouge there, throw a key light on it, maybe some fill and of course a nice edge behind it--maybe even splash some warm colors around it with some gelled-lights. But see? There I go. I'm already overdoing it and I'm right back where I started--mimicking Adella and Scott.

What if I just let you, the readers, add the lights and the makeup? Can you guys do that? But I want you to do it nice, ok? Pretend it's your press release. Pretend you're the ones selling this new venture. And please, pose the facts naturally. There's nothing worse than reading this kind of stuff and it's all stiffly-posed like a stone statue.

Well, here goes: I'll just supply the raw material, and you be the artist.

First off--and this one should be easy as pie to make look like a hot, young model photographed by Clive MacLean at Sunset in Tahiti--The new company's name is Sinamotion Pictures. Like it or not, it's already DBA'd and the stationary printed, so just go with it. Personally, I'm totally down with it. And I wasn't even the guy who created it.

The first thing Sinamotion has to announce is--and this is kind of cool--we've signed a deal to shoot a series of 30 second commercial TV spots for a chain of gentlemen's clubs. We even have the first check in hand. The spots will air on MTV, Fox Sports, and other outlets in late October or early November.

Next, we shot a five-minute demo to showcase some of our magic. What magic? How about state-of-the-art computer generated imagery. (Michael Ninn will have to nudge over and make some room for us.) Any other magic? A top-notch score and soundtrack. Even if you're only half-impressed with the CG, I guarantee you'll agree this thing sounds as good as anything playing in your local theater.

How do we do it? By having the tools for starters. Tools like a comprehensive sound FX library that rivals most commercial sound houses? We also have very nearly all the top CG software, including their latest versions. Anything else? How about thousands of pre-built, computer models just begging to be dragged into a 'Combustion' effect, or into nearly anything else, for that matter. I'm not talking low-end animation here. This stuff is the best. Used by nearly every Hollywood post-house in town. Scores? We've got thousands of music samples to string together.

I'm guessing what you might be thinking: Do you know how to use all this stuff, jimmyD? Nope. I'm just your average, basic, recent AVN-nominated Best Director, Best Screenwriter, and director of a bunch of XXX flicks that have either won or been nominated for numerous awards. I'm also a cameraman and an editor, and I've been doing this for more years than some of you have been around. That's me. Oh yeah, I'm also the guy who writes this website, and who soon will be writing for some others (What can I say? I'm fielding offers almost daily.)

But what about that other stuff? Well, let me introduce Tyler Cash. Actually, just call him 'TC' because that's what everyone calls him. So, you're wondering if TC knows how to do all this stuff I'm still learning to use? You betcha. TC's got over 20 years and 1500 hours of broadcast televison credits as Creative Director...Sound Designer...Editor...EFX Super. Plus there's all those theatrical and documentary credits. I'm not talking Nickleodeon here: Spelling Television International (90210, Melrose Place, Models Inc), Playboy (Maui Heat), Warner Bros., Fox Television, and way more.

So what does all this mean? It means it's time to raise the bar without substantially raising the price. How do we do that? By either already owning the equipment and tools, or by having exclusive and affordable access to the equipment and tools we don't already have. And, of course, by knowing how to use them.

If you're ready to make the jump and get an edge on your competition, get in touch. Our website, sinamotion.com is up and running. Sorry for any bugs, it's brand new, and a work-in-progress--we'll be adding to it regularly. You can check out our demo there. It's a pretty large file, so I suggest downloading it and playing it with Windows Media. It too is still being worked on, but I think you'll dig it still. By the way, hiding out won't help you. I'm going to be talking to some of you in the coming weeks and showing you what Sinamotion Pictures can do.

Ok. That's about all I want to release for now. Did you do a good job wrapping some high-end production value around our press release? I hope so. Some of our future's depend on it.





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