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What Are Mike Quasar's Chances of Winning Best Director?

Your killing me! I'm laughing too hard to answer!
Mike who?
No Chance. Only James Avalon wins them for Metro
Q's a foreigner! That's a different category.
No way! His porn name's not cool enough to win.
Mike who?
Mike Quasar will win.

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Votes: 42 | Comments: 0



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_POSTEDON 2002-10-09 21:26:55 by jimmyd

Happy Headline jimmyd _writes "I know some of you who read this site are porn fans. I also know that some of you might sometimes envy what I do for a living. After all, I get to be around a bunch of decent-looking, naked girls engaged in all kinds of nasty, sexual activities. Not only that, but while they're there, working for me, they're like my personal, live sex-puppets waiting for me to instruct them to commit the many kinds of kinky behaviors that pop into my head.

But in the last few days I've been shooting a thirty-second commercial spot. And I gotta tell you, it was way fucking cool. And yes, dare I say it? Cooler than shooting porn. Cooler than shooting any fucking porn that anyone's ever shot.

First off, the entire time we shot there was nary a single exposed penis in sight. Not one! No man meat. No wood. No salami! Yes, we had no kelbasa. And because of this, at no time did I ever have to worry about accidently backing up or brushing up against some guy's extended,blood-engorged, sexual appendage. I didn't have to carry on conversations with guys stroking their dicks, keeping them hard. I didn't have to crawl under some guy's bare ass, his sweaty balls dangling above my head like twin swords of Damocles, all the while worrying about what might drip off of them. I didn't as much as have to glance at another man's cock, hairy balls, or exposed bunghole. You have no idea how creatively freeing that was! This alone made the whole shoot a wonderful experience for me.

I also didn't have to endure any extended explanations about some problem that I sure as hell didn't want to hear about regarding some girl's vagina. The kind of problem that would be better told to her OB/GYN or kept to herself.

Stuff like...

"My pussy is so fucking sore. Here, look, see how red it is? My boyfriend fucked me hard all night and didn't give me two-minutes rest."


"It's my time of the month. Do you have anything I can stuff up there so I don't bleed when he fucks me?"

Or one of my all-time favorites...

"I'm taking this medication and it's making things not smell so nice."

And since this commerical shoot did not include any interaction between penises, tongues, pussies, assholes, tits, fingers, feet, or objects designed to interact with the aforementioned anatomy parts, I had very little to worry about other than doing a good job directing and shooting the spot.

So that's it. I just thought I'd share. Maybe I'll show you the spot after we're done editing it.


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