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What Are Mike Quasar's Chances of Winning Best Director?

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No way! His porn name's not cool enough to win.
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Mike Quasar will win.

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_POSTEDON 2002-10-14 23:31:06 by jimmyd

metro press release jimmyd _writes "

In response to your scathing critique of the press release recently sent out from Metro Interactive regarding the latest edition of "Babes Illustrated," (SEE PREVIOUS ARTICLE) I've taken the liberty of creating a new press release which I hope will come closer to meeting your exacting standards.....

Chatsworth, CA (October 14, 2002) - Director Mike Quasar and producer Mike Adams recently wrapped the latest volume of Babes Illustrated, shot on location in Encino, California at an exclusive location south of the Boulevard. This exclusive location will surely have had the hell shot out of it by every single video company in the Valley by time the latest installment of "Babes" is released. Highlights of this exclusive location include a symphony of leaf blowers performing on every adjacent property and aircraft making their final approach to Van Nuys airport every 12 seconds.

Babes Illustrated is Director Mike Quasar's favorite series to shoot. "This is my favorite series to shoot. It really is. Mostly because I'm in no danger of getting semen on my shoes.... that's a joke by the way. I'd just like to point out that that was a joke. There's a joke in this press release and that was it."

Quasar goes on to explain just exactly what this latest volume entails. "This volume of the series is based around Carolyn Monroe and how she paints her sexual fantasies," says Quasar, who is also the series' videographer. "We're also incorporating cutting edge special effects that will animate certain sequences within the video, and if you don't care about any of that, most of the girls are great pieces of ass." The cutting edge special effects Quasar speaks of come courtesy of a $499.00 software program called StudioArtist 2.0. Says Quasar, "I don't know the first thing about this program but Metro bought it for me and it's gotta be more interesting than rendering anal gapes in slow motion...besides, I long to be a Director of equal caliber to Nic Andrews. I may reshoot part of Babes Illustrated 12 so that I may attempt to incorporate random lesbianism into an edge-of-your-seat car chase."

Quasar feels that this is the best Babes Illustrated yet. Says Quasar, "I feel that this is the best Babes Illustrated yet. I really do. I really feel it deep down. I wouldn't put one over on ya. I'll even take a lie detector test if you like"

The movie also features an industry first, two sets of sister in the same scene!!!!. Jade Marcella and her sister Namomi Arman as well the infamous Potter twins from Texas. Quasar claims this to be the highlight of the movie despite giving him the creeps. " I feel that this scene is definitely the highlight of the movie. I really do... but it gave me the creeps. It really did because y'know... they're sisters and I'm from Canada, not Arkansas and well.... it was just creepy.

Michael Adams thoroughly enjoyed it though. Jade Marcella is his girlfriend. He got to watch her lick identical twin vaginas. At one point he excused himself to the restroom. Actually, Michael Adams gives me the creeps too".

Babes Illustrated 12 will be released in early 2003.... unless Mike Quasar, who also happens to be the editor of the project, continues his unhealthycollision course with liver failure.


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