INTERACTIVE PORN GAMES -- NOW YOU GET TO THINK WITH BOTH HEADS
_POSTEDON 2002-10-23 17:36:17 by jimmyd |
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jimmyd _writes "
I'm thinking the next big thing in porn might be interactive computer games based on porn flicks or porn companies. Mainstream's been doing this a long time. There's interactive Star Wars games, Star Trek, Spiderman, Pokemon--there's no end to the movies that spawn interactive computer games. In fact, sometimes a game spawns a movie like "Mario Bros" or "Lara Croft, Tomb Raider."
With the porn biz putting out hundreds of titles a month from a large assortment of companies, you'd think at least of few of them would make for great interactive gaming. Here's some that I think would make great games:
JM's "The Violation of ...." series. Let's say you get "The Violation of Aurora Snow Game," for instance. In the game you get to be one of those who violate Aurora. Your dick's already hard just thinking about it, right? Anyway, Nikita Denise shoves a fire hydrant-sized dildo up Aurora's ass? No problem. Your character shoves Nikita up Aurora's ass. You see, the ways in which you violate poor Aurora is limited only by your imagination. But remember, these are hardened porn sluts, it's going to take more than Nikita Denise up Aurora Snow's ass to get her to cry uncle. You win by getting Aurora to surrender and quit the game, without actually sending her to the hospital or the morgue.
Sin City's "Paradise Lost" game. Here's the deal, you get to play one of God's lesser angels and your job is to stop Satan from convincing Eve to get Adam to eat that apple and be thrown out of Paradise. Your only weapons are a group of wanton, sex-starved nymphs, and a couple of perpetually hard-dicked studs.
Digital Playground's "Rush" game. This one is a true strategy game. You get to be Adella O'Neal and your only weapons are press releases. The object of the game is to convince the world that "Rush" is actually a fuck flick, and not a rehashed off-Hollywood "B" movie.
Digital Playground's "Just LikeTera" game. Being the cutting edge company that Digital Playground is, and given their seemingly inexhaustable supply of money to fund projects of dubious commercial potential, I envision DP coming out with a second interactive, strategy game right on the heels of their "Rush" game. In this game, the player again gets to be Adella O'Neal. As before, the player is armed with nothing more than press releases. The object of the game is for the player to create, brand, and market a new, porn, mega-star who appears in as few porn movies as possible. The ultimate goal of the game is to create a Tera Patrick type porn star who never appears in any porn movies at all.
"Lukeford.com," the game. In this one you get to be Paul Flashburn and run lukeford.com. The object of the game is to trick everyone into believing you're a bonafide porn gossip site, when in fact your true goal is to drive as much traffic as possible to various sex sites that you also happen to own.
This one's my personal favorite: "The Extreme Associates Game." In the EAG, you get to be Rob Black. The goal of the game is to produce as many porn flicks as possible without actually paying anyone. Your weapons are Gene Ross, who staves off criticism, and a group of steroid-monster, semi-pro wrestlers to protect you, and assorted retards to blame the bad checks on.
Well, that's all I can think of for now, Maybe more sometime later.
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