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What Are Mike Quasar's Chances of Winning Best Director?

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No way! His porn name's not cool enough to win.
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Mike Quasar will win.

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Part PR chic's feverish scrawlings, part Quasarman proxy site, part under the oppressive yoke of a porn mob.

_POSTEDON 2002-11-21 15:35:07 by jimmyd

Tales of Pornography jimmyd _writes "Thanks to everyone who's written in to wish my scrotum well. A special thanks to Harry Weiss who seemed particularly concerned with the condition of my nuts. (I won't speculate on his motive.) Harry even offered to do publicity for my balls. He said he'd give me a 2-for-1 special, which of course is the sort of humor one would expect from a Jewish PR guy.

I've done a bit of research on the net, and used the search words "low hanging scrotum" to see what results I'd get. Here's what one site I found had to say:

"Enlargement of the scrotum occurs with many men as they age. The enlargement can cause irritation to the scrotum and upper inner thigh. Some men have discomfort in tight clothes and underpants. Other men may dislike the cosmetic appearance of the stretched hanging scrotum.

I have developed a scrotum reduction procedure that reduces the side of the scrotum while maintaining the normal shape. This operation is performed as an outpatient in about 1 to 2 hours. Most men return to work in 4-5 days. The discomfort is resolved, and the cosmetic appearance is improved (see photos)."

Well, "Thanks, but no thanks, Doc!" There's no freakin' way I'm about to have some Quack take to my nuts with a scalpel. In fact, I'm happy to report that today my nutsack seems to have retreated nearly to its original compact size and hanging length. Perhaps last night I was simply very relaxed, which in turn, relaxed everything. My herbal medication tends to do that sometimes. At no time was I in any discomfort. There was no irritation to my scrotum or upper inner thighs. In fact, the only time I felt anything different was when I crossed my legs while lying on the bed, and one ball got caught in the front and the other in the rear between my legs. A simply manual adjustment to my overall genital area remedied this before any pain was experienced. This, of course, led to a series of manual adjustments and the next thing I knew... Well, maybe that's more information than anyone needs to read.

I know some of you might be wondering why I'm spending time writing about my testicals. Truth is, I don't know. This stuff should be way to personal to share with the public, but here I am sharing it. Perhaps it's a form of exhibitionistic writing.

Well, I'll sign off now. If any of simplyjimmyd.com's female readers would like to write in and tell-all with some interesting stories about your private parts, I'd be happy to share them with everyone. I'll even post uninteresting tales of tail.

jimmyd out.


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