HAMILTON STEELE SHAMELESSLY PLUGS, KISSES ASS, AND COMPLAINS ABOUT HIS NUTS :: Simply Jimmy D :: Breakin' News or Breakin' Balls: It's all the same to me!

jimmyd _writes "My hat's off to Hamilton. In one brief email that addresses the balls/nutsack thread that has dominated my site this last week, he manages to shamelessly plug himself, kiss a little ass, plug an upcoming release, and remain on topic.

Here's Mr. Steele's email:

Dear Jimmy,

I have problems with my testicles!! Last Friday I was doing a double-penetration scene for James Avalon. It was outside at some secluded, rich dude's estate. It was a fantastic scene (the shameless plug) and Mr. Avalon is an awesome director (lips firmly planted on Avalon's buttcheeks) to work for.

The only problem was the cold and the only warm place I could stick my prick was in the lovely and sexy slut-meat we were fucking (No plug for the other meatpuppet or the slut-meat). Although this did great for my cock, it did nothing for my balls. My testicles were frozen. Acording to Mr. Jay Moyes, (simplyjimmyd's newly appointed resident authority on male testicles and their holding pouches) my balls rise and fall to maintain optimal temperature for sperm production. Here is where I believe my problem begins.

My left testicle is now sitting lower than my right one. Should I be concerned? My unit appears to be working without any problems. After all, I fucked Venus on Saturday and Saresh on Sunday for RectalRooter.com (Coming soon!) I need to know if I'm going to have to go through the rest of my porn career lopsided. Or will they even out? Is it safe to assume they have thawed out yet or should I aim a hot lamp at them? Heck, maybe I have out-of-shape testicles and perhaps I should start doing nut-crunches and other ball exercises to build up strength and symetry. Hopefully I don't require any cosmetic correction because all make-up artists appear to get pissed off when I ask them to touch up razor burn anywhere in the vicinity of my unit. And production assitants bitch when they have to do more that hand you a bottle of lube.

Looking for Advice
Hamilton Steele
www.hamiltonsteele.net

Hamilton-- Sounds like you have a confused nuts. I'm not sure I'd recommend the nut-crunches as they sound awfully painful. Perhaps you should apply ice to the lower hanging nut, or try a heating pad on the upper nut. If the condition presists, I would warn against procreating. You might end up with offspring with one leg shorter than the other or some other lopsided, congenital defect. I'm sure Jay Moyes will be reading this and will be willing to consult with you regarding your balls.

A great big apology to all my readers who are getting sick and freaking tired of reading about testicles and nutsacks. Who would have thought this subject would be THE subject that refuses to go away? I'm just going with the flow. Sorry.

"


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