I'm pretty fucking confused by what I'm reading on my colleague's sites. First off, the LF.com people seem to have declared a jihad against the Homegrown/Xplor people for their alleged attempts to rig the Roger T. Pipe Awards. "Why?" would be my first question. It's not that I think Rog's awards don't matter--the truth is, I don't think anyone's awards really matter. Sure, winning awards is nice for the ego, but winning these awards and $1.60 will get you a Starbuck's 'grande' coffee. You see, porn awards don't translate into money-in-your-pocket, a.k.a. work, like awards do in other fields of endeavor. In Hollywood, winning--or even being nominated for--an Oscar or an Emmy or a Grammy translates into money. In the West San Fernando Valley, winning and/or being nominated for an AVN Award (an AVNny?) gets you squat, zilch, nada, bupkus. I know about this. I've had some noms and my movies have won some awards and I still sweat the rent every month. I mean, I directed a MEDIUM budget movie last year for a certain MAJOR company whose BIG honcho really wasn't too keen on me making. And when it was nominated for some IMPORTANT awards, and actually won some IMPORTANT awards, I didn't get so much as a SMALL word of acknowledgement from the BIG honcho. I'm not talking recognition here, I'm saying simple acknowledgement. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for sympathy--that's just typically rude, no-class shit in the jiz biz and I'm just telling it the way it is. So why anyone would fuck with their karma and cheat to win one of these awards is beyond my realm of comprehension--which maybe ain't that big a realm--but the fact is, they really don't matter. And if you don't believe me, maybe you'll believe the BIG honcho from the MAJOR company. He spoke loud and clear to me--and what his silence said to me was they sure don't seem to matter to him either.

Then there's the stuff on Mike South's site about KickAss trying to bribe AVN Award voters. Maybe that's all a big joke, I don't know, but it looked like an awful lot of work was done for a freaking joke. Of course, my version of what constitutes 'a lot of work,' and someone else's version might be completely different. Any mention of the alleged KickAss AVN Award manipulation is absent from the LF.com site. I don't want to say that it might have something to do with the fact that LF.com shills for KickAss regularly--I mean they're a paid advertiser--or that LF's chief scribe is a close personal associate of a certain hot dog munching producer. I know that LF.com regularly protects porn's innocent, porn's underdogs, and porn's exploited. But hey, if that's the conclusion some of you might come to, that's your business.

Then there's this stuff about Tera Patrick and her fiance Evan somebody. No disrespect, Evan, it's just that I'm not too much in tune with today's music, so I don't really know who you or Biohazard are. I guess Biohazard's a big deal, I really don't have any idea--I still listen to Pink Floyd. I guess that pretty much takes me out of the contemporary music loop. Anyway, it seems Tera was a little P.O.'d at LF.com for some stuff they wrote, but she and her Biohazard Boy still want to use the LF.com site as their soapbox. Is it me or is this like the first time anyone's ever heard anything that supposedly came from Tera's actual mouth...or I guess keyboard in this case. I didn't even know she could construct a sentence since Adella O'Neal has always done her talking for her.

Like I said, all this shit completely confuses and baffles me. I don't know what to make of it. Somebody help me here. I do, however, understand all the play yeast infections are getting on LF.com. I just went through something similar with nuts and nutsacks.

Where's Gene Ross when you need him? He would've sorted all this shit out.


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