GENE ROSS GIVES JIMMYD BOFFO KUDOS! :: Simply Jimmy D :: Breakin' News or Breakin' Balls: It's all the same to me!

jimmyd _writes "Here's a piece of April 4's Gene Ross:

Some guy writes in:

"...it seems that the porn gossip field has gotten pretty busy lately between you, Mike South, Martin Brimmer at luke ford, and the new guy, Jimmy D. What do you personally think of each one of these guys?"

Gene responds:

"Jimmy D. is the most entertaining of the three because be doesn't take himself seriously; has got a breezy, street patois and doesn't give a shit. Besides, he's honest and will tell it to you straight to your face. The fact that he also directs puts him right in the thick of things. The only cautionary word I offer to him is this - Quasarman. Mike McCormick was a brilliant satirist, had access to all the nut cases and still burned out. Mike South will have the most problems generating fresh material because he's not in the day-to-day thick of things. And Brimmer has to start writing more about the business and less about the six degrees of separation he maintains with every topic he brings up."

PLEASE CLICK 'READ MORE' (BELOW) TO CONTINUE READING THIS ARTICLE

Thank you Gino!

Geez, I feel like I've finally gotten that Five Star Review from AVN. I know, I know, this wasn't an AVN review, but Gene was a big shot there for a lot of years. He carried a big stick at AVN. His word meant something. His written word tumbled Porn-Dynasties! He sat atop AVN's Olympus and passed down the law: the Porn Law! Break the Porn Law and it would cost you stars...STARS! AVN Review stars! And we, the lowly producers and directors in this business, we lived for those stars. Those stars were our sustenance, our bread-and-butter, our future. Stars could make or break us. Employment was one thing, re- employment another, and re-employment sometimes meant you had to get those fucking stars and Goddammit but AVN Gods like Gene Ross held those precious stars in their hands and dangled them in front of us like sardines in the hands of seal trainers.

And I'm fucking sorry if I can't seem to hold on to my tense right, but dammit I'm getting pretty worked up writing this....

So anyway, as if being treated like a trained sea mammal isn't enough, here's the kind of shit we have to deal with daily from these 'bleed you creatively dry' company owners: "Y'all want to make some more movies for me, boy? Go 'n git some more of them stars! Some of them AVN review stars, cuz stars sell tapes! And sellin' tapes are what we all are all about! Whores and stars! That's us'n's! Now go out and git them stars, boy...go on now....git em!"

(Note: I cleverly disguised the dialogue you just read so no one could tell which Jewish, company owner I was basically quoting. Pretty good, huh...a little drawl, and it fucked y'all up trying to figure out who that was.....anyway, back to ranting.....)

Why, I'll go so far as to say that Gene Ross was even bigger than Mark Kernes will ever be, well, bigger like more importanter...you know what I mean. And now that Gene's not at AVN any more, it really doesn't matter. You know why? Because Gene Ross is Gene Ross wherever the fuck Gene Ross happens to be! You got that?

And if Gene Ross says that Jimmy fucking D is the best of these guys, well then, I guess he is the fucking best because you heard it from who? From Gene Fucking Ross, that's who!

Oh, if you don't know what "Boffo Kudos" are, go ask Tod (with one 'd') Hunter

Ok. I'm done. I feel better now.

P.S. Yeah, I know they're not really stars, they're "A's." But how fucking lame are "A's?" Who says, "Did you see my 4 "A" review?" What do "A's" stand for? Assholes? "Hey! They gave me four AVN assholes for my movie!"

NOTE TO AVN: Nobody....and I mean NOBODY in this business except maybe you guys EVER EVER EVER says "A's" when referring to what they get from AVN for their movie. They say "stars." And here's another tip, buckos, lately (i.e., since you now only print 4-A reviews or better--and seem to be giving out exactly the amount of them you need to fill page space--which is more 4-A's and Spotlight Pics than you ever gave out before), more and more company owners, producers, directors, are giving less and less of a shit what your reviews say. Want to know why? In spite of all the little "Letters to the Editor" from store owners who claim they buy based on your reviews, the fact remains that it takes so fucking long for a review to actually show up, these store owners would be buying 'catalogue' if they were making choices based on your reviews. In this electronic age, time IS THE KEY FACTOR! And you guys--be it news or reviews--are even slower than you were. What does this mean? Why do we (i.e., the Royal We) care less about AVN reviews? Because more and more and more THEY DON'T FUCKING MATTER!

P.P.S. The P.S. you just read was presented without bias or emotion. It was not meant as a slam or a diss. It was meant merely to inform and/or educate. Thank you. -The Management, simplyjimmyd.com.

Ok. That's cleared up.

"


	Search


WARNING · Extreme Adult Content Discretion Advised