WANKER'S ANGST
_POSTEDON 2003-01-19 15:54:45 by jimmyd |
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jimmyd _writes "
I've known Wanker Wang for a while now--not in the biblical sense, of course, because we're both a couple of highly heterosexual stud-muffins. Wanker's a really great guy--he really is! He's intelligent, he's talented, he's determined, he's a little strange but then who isn't?
But now I'm starting worry about this young Eskimo lad. I thought he came away from the daily bombardment of misogyny he endured during his tenure at Extreme Associates with only minor wounds. But now I'm not so sure. Lately, his ramblings have become more and more misogynous. Maybe it's the company he keeps? Maybe he hit his head on something and got Kahn-Tusioned? Maybe he needs to quite wallowing with those fine upstanding pornographers who only present one viewpoint in porn--that women are nothing more than cocksockets, cumbuckets, dumb cunts and whores? Maybe young Wang once led a sheltered life, but now his life in porn has shown him a bit too much of the dark side of humanity? It certainly seems to have given him a "they're all a bunch of dumb, disgusting, fucking whores" mentality.
Here's a few WW quotes from his most recent ramblings:
"Just when I think I've met the most fucked up whore in the world, another one pops in that blows my mind."
"You show a little kindness to some whores and they'll run all over you."
"I've never met any girls more unscrupulous than your average porn whore. The lies, the problems, the drugs, the diseases, the issues. Deep, deep issues."
"...there's nothing more life affirming than some dumb bitch spending nearly 15 minutes trying to parallel park outside my complex. I'm fascinated as I continue to look outside my window. What a dumb cunt!"
I'm not going to lecture. I'm not going even try to change Wank's mind--well, ok, maybe I am, just a little. I'd like Wanker to simply consider this: I could take each of those quotes, change them just a bit, and you know what? While it still remains a jaded viewpoint, whatever truth and whatever generalizing bullshit there is in each quote, the same amount of it remains. In fact, I've found there's more truth in the quotes when you turn them around in the manner in which I've edited them as follows:
"Just when I think I've met the most fucked up guy in the world, another one pops in that blows my mind."
"You show a little kindness to some of the guys in this business and they'll run all over you."
"I've never met any guys more unscrupulous than your average porn guy. The lies, the problems, the drugs, the diseases, the issues. Deep, deep issues."
"...there's nothing more life affirming than some dumb fuck spending nearly 15 minutes trying to parallel park outside my complex. I'm fascinated as I continue to look outside my window. What a dumb fuck!"
Wank... dude... it's far, far easier to love them then to despise them. You need a good woman, bro. A woman free of drugs, diseases, and deep, deep issues. A woman with scruples. A woman who tells the truth. A woman who's there when you need her. A woman who enjoys a good dry hump, who loves to be fucked in the ear, and who melts when her nipples are snorted. And maybe most importantly of all, bro, you need a woman who can properly parallel park a car.
If you find one, my friend, and still decide you have no use for her, send her my way, will you?
"
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