The Jizz Bizz's favorite internet stalker has been diagnosed with a rarely-seen, and formerly unknown malady. Doctors have dubbed Bryan's illness "Sullivan Syndrome."

In an as-yet-to-be-published research paper for the American Medical Association, the research team studying Mr. Sullivan's case believe the bulging eyeballs and perpetual grin associated with the syndrome are a direct result of compulsive, obsessive, and excessive porn viewing and accompanying masturbatory behavior.

Psychological aspects of the syndrome include a determined and intense, bi-polar, manic depressive, love/hate relationship with the porn business and its performers.

A non-profit, humanitarian group, "Stop Sullivan Syndrome Now," has been founded. Donations can be sent to this website, and will be forwarded to the foundation.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: This just in: The "Sullivan Syndrome" research team now reports that "Sullivan Syndrome" may be contagious, as evidenced by this photo of a woman who lives in the vicinity of Mr. Sullivan's apartment.

Alfeena Smith (pictured left) claims she's never seen a porno, nor has she ever engaged in any masturbatory activity. She further claims she doesn't even know Mr. Sullivan and does not believe she has ever come into direct contact with him. Doctors are perplexed by this sudden spread of the disease.






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