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_POSTEDON 2003-02-03 16:54:46 by jimmyd

The Porn Bard jimmyd _writes "

In spite of the fact that I think he's looking for a paycheck he'll probably never see, The Porn Bard... ATP (Alexander the Poet)... the Yakov Smirnoff of Smut... better yet, the Yakov Jackov of Smut... checks in with an important announcement of his own.

ATP writes: JimmyD-- I would like to make an announcement regarding Wanker Wang's announcement, which was followed by your announcement. That announcement is actually an announcement which was actually announced 3 weeks ago, but will actually be a true legit announcement next month. That announcement is that Stone Cold Steve Austin is coming back to WWE!!! So any other announcement will have to wait until next month's announcement on PPV. After which point Jimmy, you can make your announcement. There, I said it. That was my announcement. My God, I think I've just been inspired to write a poem titled "Ode To Announcements". Stay tuned... Wait. Did I just make an announcement? -ATP

jimmyD sez: I know I've been giving ATP a lot column space lately, but as you might guess, I find him quite amusing. And no shit Sherlock, I know I put the wrong Steve Austin up there--unless the Six Million Dollar Man suddenly decided to go into wrestling--but I'm too fucking lazy to change it. Besides, none of you never made a fucking mistake? I don't think so.

I just hope ATP understands that I'm the #1 Funny Guy here and as soon as he thinks he's funnier-- and you know how those Russians are, they think all their shit's better, funnier, they invented it first, whatever--anyway, as soon as he thinks he's funnier or he actually IS funnier, he's outa here. Sorry, but that's just the way I am: selfish, self-centered, and possibly delusional. See how I've cut back on Harry Weiss reporting lately? That's cause Harry told me he think's HE'S funnier than ME, which we all know he ain't.


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