METHINKS I AM MOCKED... AT LEAST, I'M PRETTY SURE I AM :: Simply Jimmy D :: Breakin' News or Breakin' Balls: It's all the same to me!

jimmyd _writes "I lifted this from setgo.com. The prose contained in it--dare I say it--surpasses even the Porn Bard. There's a line at the top attributed to Editor Graydon Carter, editor of, uhmm, of.... something I should probably know about. The whole thing's a little over my head, so perhaps my friend Cali Ruchala will write in and decipher its cryptic code.

Here it is, make of it what you will:

James DiGiorgio - Let Us Now Praise Great Men
by D.U.C.

The post-9/11 world has seen the death of irony, reports editor Graydon Carter.

Is not my poverty an obvious example of how I am out of touch with the zeitgeist?

Just the other day, Rishawn Biddle called me "one of L.A.'s most savage media profilers." This, along with some personally disappointing interactions, prompted me to look deep inside at where my rage stemmed from. And I realized that my irony and sarcasm came from pain.

Would it not be more healthy for me to get in touch with the sweet side of myself? So let us now speak, unironically, in praise of a great man - James DiGiorgio of simplyjimmyd.com.

Later this week the CIA will dispatch me to Iraq to personally assassinate Saddam Hussein. (No, I am not just saying this to get chicks.)

So like the medieval poet Jeffrey Rudell, I surfed over to Jimmy's site. Cost what it may, I had to read him one more time. I could not resist the urge to take away one last memory that I could cherish down the lonely years in the mid-East without internet access.

(Rudell fell in love with the wife of the Lord of Tripoli. He took ship to Tripoli and his servants took him ashore. He was dying of love. They bore him into the lady's presence on a litter. He had just strength enough to reach out and touch her hand, and he died.)

I came to take one last glance of the column I loved, to re-open the wound.

Yes, there had been some cooling in our relationship after the ABC Primetime special.

Today, by Jeeves, as I read Jimmy, his wonderful nature seemed to open before me like some lovely flower. Every day I find myself discovering some new facet of his extraordinary character.

Have you noticed any difference in him?

An improvement, if such a thing were possible. Have you not felt sometimes that if Jimmy had a fault, it was his tendency to be a little timid in criticizing his fellow porners? A sensitive plant, our Jimmy, hardly fit for the rough and tumble of Hollywood journalism.

But of late, in addition to that wonderful dreaminess of his, a force of character which I had not suspected he possessed. DiGiorgio has seemed to completely lost his diffidence. Only this morning he wrote quite sharply, telling Luke Ford "to go boil his head."

DiGiorgio has hidden depths that the vapid observer overlooks. Just the other day, he said something poetic to me about sunsets. Sometimes I ask myself if I am worthy of such rare a soul.

jimmyD sez: First off, I don't think that was me speaking of sunsets-- it was probably the Porn Bard. Secondly, what the fuck's a zeitgeist? And finally, quit sulking. What you wrote was what I said it was and you know it too.

"


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WARNING · Extreme Adult Content Discretion Advised