Porn's uber-impresario, the supreme commander of Sin City's forces, David Sturman, phoned me today.

After half-heartedly chastizing me for a moment or two over my recent Sin Twins postings, I asked the Don of Sin City if it were true--had Sin City's Texas-sequel to the original Sin Twins really flaked on him?

David conceded that this latest iteration of Sin Twins had indeed flaked. And they did so before his production minions had a chance to shoot them in even one freaking scene!

Bummer!

But it gets worse: According to Sturman, he'd payed these sibling-sluts a fair amount of contract dough before they split.

Double-bummer!

I asked David if he had any idea why the identical fuck-sluts had flown the Sin City coop, and more importantly, how he got my private cell phone number.

Sturman told me he had been arranging to get the Texas twins on the Howard Stern Show. Apparently, they weren't too thrilled. They were worried about the sudden recognition their appearance might bring. Family stuff he guesses. As for my cell phone number, well, he's David Sturman. 'Nuff said.

But the real reason he called was to question the authenticity of the email I received from the original Sin Twins that I then posted on the site. David doesn't buy that it came from the Russian twins. He said the Sin Twins--the Russian twins, not the Texas twins; boy this gets confusing--don't possess the English language skills contained in that email. David insinuated that Misha and Sasha (the original Sin Twins) couldn't order lunch in English. He suspects that jimmyD had been duped into posting a phony email.

I assured David that I don't dupe easy. David assured me that in this case, I was easily duped.

Was not.

Was.

Was not.

Was.

Ok, so I can't prove I wasn't duped and he can't prove I was. That's the problem with dupes: It's hard to tell when you're being duped. If it weren't hard to tell, I guess no one would ever get duped. That's why it's hard to tell, and why a lot of people get duped. But I assured Sturman I'd leave no stone unturned in my quest to prove whether or not a simplyjimmyD duping had taken place.

My keen, finely-honed, reporter's intuition told me Sturman wasn't calling from his San Francisco fortress. I was right. (Which also proves I don't dupe easily.)

Sturman was attending a store-signing with his new trailer park trash director, Skeeter Kerkove Superstar, and Skeeter's sizzling, hot, wife, Bridgette Kerkove. By the way, most people mistakenly pronounce the Kerkove's last name like it rhymes with jerk-off. But that's incorrect. It's pronounced like it's Curr-cove. Just thought some of you might like to know that.

Skeeter, who we sometimes affectionately refer to as Frankenskeeter because he's become such a monster porn-phenom, has become the latest darling of the raincoaters. You might remember that Skeeter-mania was originally conceived and created by uber-publicist, Harry Weiss, during Weiss' Metro tenure. But since then, it's been all Skeeter.

Sturman told me that Skeeter's first outing for Sin City, "Clusterfuck," sold over five-thousand units. That's huge for an adult title. I don't know how many Michael Raven epics sold five-thousand pieces, but my guess would be none. But that's just a wild guess.

My phone call with David ended amicably. We shot the shit for a while. Sturman and I go back a ways. It was Sturman who hatched my porn directing career. I thought you might want to know that in case they ever put out a porn version of Trivial Pursuit and that question is on one of the cards.

Check out Skeeter's "Clusterfuck," from Sin City. And if you can't get enough Skeeter after doing that, check out his recent "2ANAL4U" from Smash Pictures. I'd mention Skeeter's Metro titles, but what the fuck has Metro ever done for me?



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