Uber-publicist, Harry 'Shecky' Weiss, has turned out a press release with an uber-flair for comedy!

Who would have thought that something as mundane, customary, and colorless as your normal, daily, press release, could have such entertainment value? I'm reminded of that now-famous publicity stunt that pitted a maniacal Skeeter Kerkove against a mad-as-hell Harry Weiss--both men's fists clenched, grim-faced and ready for battle.

Only this time 'Shecky' has traded fists for a gun, a tongue, and a porn star. Fucking brilliant! I'm still laughing. It sets a new standard for comedic press releases.

Here's Harry's comedy riff:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

DIGITAL G PRODUCTIONS DISTIBUTION DEAL RESULTS IN GUNPLAY

Chatsworth, CA-(February 21, 2003) - Digital G Productions (digitalgvideo.com)
has secured a domestic U.S. distribution deal with Scarlet Tower Distribution. Scarlet Tower is helmed by adult industry veterans Gigi Appleton and Dave Paterson. The first release from Digital G is scheduled for an April 10TH street date.

The staff of Digital G had been sequestered in day long conferences, discussing which of their feature movies would be the coveted "first release." According to Director of Publicity, Harry Weiss, "We thought that we had picked a secure location, until Dru broke in!" Apparently, Dru Berrymore discovered the secret meeting site and snuck past the security cameras and guard dogs. Berrymore immediately took movie and film Director Allen Lee, and Director of Talent and Marketing Robert Lombard hostage (see accompanying photo). Brandishing a gun and incredibly erect and lethal tongue, Berrymore demanded that Digital G's first release be Sexual Fantasy starring, Dru Berrymore and Co-Starring Nicolette, star of the HBO/Cinemax series, Emmanuelle 2000. Also starring; multiple AVN Award Winner Ava Vincent, AVN Award Winner Nicole Sheridan, Gina Ryder, Monica Mayhem, Alana Evans, KayLynn, Lee Stone, Herschel Savage, Rafe, and past AVN Performer of the Year Award Winner Evan Stone.

After a short standoff with local SWAT, order was restored and Berrymore was removed. A dazed Robert Lombard stated, "The gun didn't scare me, I've seen Dru's tongue in action! I was tempted to make a run for safety, but I've seen her destroy stronger men than Allen (Lee)." Director Allen Lee was later found sobbing into his camera and mumbling, "Please, not the tongue, anything but the tongue." It was later discovered that the gun was not loaded, however, her tongue was.

Digital G has decided not to press charges, however, in order to protect the safety of its staff, Sexual Fantasy starring Dru Berrymore will be the company's first release on April 10TH, 2003.


jimmyD sez: What CAN I say? I can't be funnier than that. I concede it's an act I simply can't follow.




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