The debate on whether or not Mary Carey's tits are home-grown or synthetic continues to rage on. But let me ask a question: Does anyone out there really and truly give a shit?

This debate has persisted now for weeks and frankly I don't get it. One would think Mary's the only girl ever to grace this business with real (big) tits. Here's a heads-up for everyone: She's not. And if they're not real--which it looks like it would now take a team of forensic pathologists to figure out--she's also not the only girl with bolt-ons working the jizz bizz.

Maybe my lackluster attitude about this is driven by my attitude towards tits in general. I'm not really a tit-man. It's not that I don't appreciate and enjoy nice tits, or even big tits--I do--it's just that they're not at the top of my list when I'm appraising some babe. And let me give you my definition of nice tits: They're tits that are firm and attractively shaped, large or small, that look just right on a woman. Yep, I like 'em big and I like 'em small. I don't really prefer one size over another.

But that's me. I understand there's a lot of guys out there who are mammary gland-obssessed; guys who get off on hefty melons. And to you I say, "God bless you!" If that's what tilts your kilt, right on! But let's all quit acting like Ms. Carey has the only pair of tits, real or fake, in the industry that matter.

This whole Mary Carey's tits thing has been spun so many ways, it's now almost impossible to separate the truth from the bullshit. Mary once told AVN her tits were fake. Now she says she lied about that due to some sort of porn star peer pressure. Mark Kulkis, CEO of Kick Ass Pictures, claims Mary was a late bloomer, and that accounts for the suspicious firmness of Mary's tits. Mary's tits have been grappled by plenty of porn writers performing some sort of cola-like taste test... I mean touch test... and still no one can say for sure whether the tits in question are gifts from God or the work of some plastic surgeon.

But when all is said and done, I really don't think it matters. If you like Mary's tits just the way they are, does it really matter if they're real? If you're inclined to jerk-off to Mary's tits, would it really matter if it turns out they're not real? Will your orgasm be any less intense if you find out they're not real? More intense if they are real? I don't know... my guess is you'll have a happy ole time with yourself regardless.

Mary-- whatever the truth is, those things look good on you, babe. Keep exposing them for the world to see. Be proud of them! Let them be touched and fondled, licked and sucked, pulled and pinched. It doesn't matter whether they're made of bio-cellular matter or saline, those who are focused on them will love them all the same.

If you'd like to comment on this story, here's a good place to do so.



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