MY SO-CALLED LIFE :: Simply Jimmy D :: Breakin' News or Breakin' Balls: It's all the same to me!

jimmyd _writes "Ok, so I haven't updated for a day or so. Maybe I've been busy. Maybe once in a while I actually have a freakin' life (although whenever that happens it doesn't happen for very long). Or maybe I've just been fucking off. Tell me you don't fuck off sometimes. If you say you don't, you're nose is gonna grow really long because you know you do.

Alright, so now I'm sitting here, i.e., sitting at the computer, wondering what the fuck I'm going to write about. I cruised all the porn news and gossip sites. Nothing much there. Some chic got Ksex radio's Wankus and Khantusion's Wanker Wang confused--now there's a major news story. All that because some girl got two Wanks and pair of "Ks" mixed up.

And speaking of Khan Tusion, there's been some shit tossed his way over some websites he and Wanker Wang put together.

Mr. Tusion lashed out at a few people in an editorial on lukeford.com. Ho hum. Mud-slinging pornographers--like I said, "now there's a major news story." The only thing Khan Tusion said in his little bullshit outburst that made me raise an eyebrow a bit was near the end of his "pot calling the kettle black" rant (an end that couldn't come soon enough for me) where he said, "Midnight Prowl is not my idea. I wish it was."

Here's a heads-up for you Khan man-- you see, basically, "Midnight Prowl," was kind of my idea---kind of--although my original idea was a little different and possibly even more offensive-- certainly equally offensive. But that's another story known only to Wanker Wang, myself, and one other.

Speaking of other people doing things based on something I'm pretty sure I came up with, how about that recently-shot VCA gangbang they're calling "Bumfucks?" Hmmm. If I'm not mistaken, I believe *I* coined the term 'bumfucks' right here on this website when I was writing about something I later learned was called "Midnight Prowl." What a small fucking world it is, no? And it's amazing how these things are all inter-connected. I think I can see a spiritual trend developing here. Hmmm. Maybe Khan Tusion will end up shooting for VCA?

And speaking of 'pots calling kettles black,' I was accused just the other day of 'shilling.' Now I've said this before and I'll say it again, I don't have a problem shilling for anyone I'm making a few bucks with. I am, after all, a whore--just like all the rest of you motherfuckers in this business whether you want to admit it or not. But to be called a shill by a publicist? And that's who accused me, a fucking publicist! Gimme a freakin' break here. What's the job of a publicist? To shill, if I'm not mistaken. To shill for money, actually, and that's exactly what I did, albeit a bit more indirectly. So maybe I'm a part-time publicist? What's wrong with that? If it's good for you, Mr. Publicist, why ain't it good for me? Show me your Publicist's diploma and I'll show you mine, how's that?

And just so you know I havent' given up on being a serious pornalist, I do have a pretty good story I'm working on. It includes a diverse group of characters that include Python Pictures, Anarchy Films, GVAwest, Maxim Magazine, Stuff Magazine, and a bunch of lawyers. I should have that together in a day or so. I might even serialize it.

Ok. That's it for now. I just didn't want anyone thinking I was abducted by aliens or anything like that. Talk at ya later.

If you'd like to comment on this story, here's a good place to do so.

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WARNING · Extreme Adult Content Discretion Advised