Sometimes I've got too much time on my hands. And since I'm older than I used to be, I don't use this jerkoff time to jerk off as much as I once did.

So I read.

I read all kinds of shit.

One of my regular reading places is at InsidetheLair.com.

You're probably thinking all I read is porn shit. You might even be saying to yourself, "Jeez, JimmyD, don't you ever get tired of this porn shit?" Well, I do. And that's why porn shit ain't all that I read. But it is a fact that I do read a lot of the porn shit that's out there. Why? Because it feeds the other thing I do with my jerkoff time.

I write.

I write right here.

And since I ain't got time to go out and find original stuff to write about (even though I do have considerable jerkoff time), I check out all the porn shit and then do my own, bullshit take on it.

Back to InsidetheLair.com -- There's some pretty good porn shit to read there. Here's an example, penned by the bosomy kinkmistress, Kiki Daire.

Kiki calls these autobiographical words "Getting in Touch."

"After a serious bout of writer's block, I'm finally sitting down to try to make an article out of my jumbled thoughts. I could write about so many things and yet nothing seems to go past four sentences. So I think I'm going to start out with an article about making my peace with needing lots of sex.

For those of you that don't know, I had the pleasure of spending my formative years being brainwashed by the Church of Christ on Sunday and Monday and then watching Emmanuelle movies while my mom polished off a six pack. It was a strange existence. I was a curious child to start and seeing erotic images while being told that they were evil was confusing to say the least. Seeing people smile while touching each other didn't seem wrong to me even then. Besides my mother and my father's parents were not modest, in some ways clothing was optional in those two house until I was around seven. Then one day, I started getting told that I needed to put something on. Of course by then my Barbie dolls were having plenty of sex and I had started to explore my own body.

Becoming a teenager in a family that was not the least bit talkative about sex did nothing but fuel my curiosity. My mother couldn't talk about sex in between swigs of beer, she just handed me a book. My dad lost all idea of how to talk to me from the time I was 13 till I was 20. He just couldn't figure out how to deal with his little girl growing breasts. His mother's answer to everything was do as God says and he says that premarital sex is evil. I guess it's no wonder that I tried to resist my urges to experiment, yet couldn't. I was confused, excited and feeling very guilty.

When I finally moved out on my own, I started dancing at the same bar as my Mom. Definitely, not a way to keep my new jobs a secret. I was still mired in my guilt over doing things that felt so good and my family kept adding lighter fluid to the charcoal grill. It was about that time that my favorite relatives quit speaking to me because they disapproved of my choice of work. I started seeing men that wanted me to be a slut for them, but not in front of the camera. In a few cases they were porn photographers that had their own guilt issues. They would berate me for being a whore, but steal my movies and watch them behind my back.

Then I moved to California with just a suitcase of clothes and started searching for the real me. I discovered people like Nina Hartley and Earnest Greene. Both were very influential people for me because they are extremely intelligent with great views on human sexuality. I started soaking up all the information I could get my hands on about sex and using my own experiences to lose my guiltiness. I used my experiences in pornography to learn who I am in the bedroom and out of it. Pornography definitely taught me how to set my boundaries and to stick to them. It also taught me that I an NOT a bad person for wanting to pleasure and be pleasured. So I hereby pass this lesson on to you. Go out and get in touch with all of those secret desires, just use common sense and be safe."

jimmyD sez: Hey Kiki! Where was I when you were in the mood to soak up all that stuff about sex? I woulda soaked with ya!

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