INFOMERCIAL PORN
_POSTEDON 2003-06-04 12:55:40 by jimmyd |
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jimmyd _writes "
Cali opines on the Jizz Bizz Message Board: "You know, I would have guessed Dick Smothers had a son (during the few moments of my life that I found myself thinking of Dick Smothers). Probably the last thing I would have thought is, "Hey, Dick Smothers' son will be doing porn!" - much less "Boy, I'd LOVE to see Dick Smothers' son doing porn!"
I mean, guys still buy most of the tapes, right? What guy is really going to bust a nut watching a pseudo-celebrity son of Dick Smothers? "Boy, this is hot... and I still can't believe it's Dick Smothers' son! I defile you, Dick!"
But here's the thing... I don't know how much porn's demographics have changed in recent years, but I'm guessing by Girls Gone Wild's success that it's still a late-night demographic.
So here's my idea (Jimmy, feel free to steal this, because, my god, this is great):
Infomercial Porn.
No, not that extender-yer-pecker shit. I'm talking about taking people who have become infomercial pseudo-celebrities and turning them into porn studs. Instant recognition, and just fucking kitchy enough to work.
Remember Tom Wu? He had Four Simple Words that could make you something called "a meeyunaire." He was the Chinese guy on the yacht with all the girls. "You see dis boat? You see dese girls? You dink they be around me if I didn't have the bucks?" He hasn't been around for awhile (though I think he's been sending me spam lately), so he's probably hard up.
Tom Wu porn. I'd buy that.
Or Don LePre. Supposedly, the company he sold his Making Money!! System to is ripping him off (go figure), he already knows Cindy Margolis, so he's a natural.
Okay, so some of the low-end companies would get the Juiceman and make really gross Healthy Senior Citizen Infomercial Porn, but it'd still be better than porn starring the spoiled offspring of uptight celebrities.
Total segue: Jimmy, was Porsche Lynn before your time? A writer I know is trying to contact her for something he's writing on... er... sex cults. Supposedly she joined one. --Cali"
jimmyD sez: I think you're on to something here, Cali. As annoying as Don LePre's infomercials always were, if he could deliver the oh-so-hot Cindy Margolis to my porn set I might end up with a tape that could even outsell Skeeter! Hey! Here's some other ideas for infomercial porn:
Tony Robbins makes you feel good about yourself while you're jerking off to porn.
Carlton Sheets' "Buy Real Estate and Whores With No Money Down," porn series could mix solid real estate buying strategies and hot anal action with hookers.
"The Thigh Master" featuring a submissive Suzanne Sommers could be a great S&M series.
"Tae-Bo Bitches" could feature great inter-racial action with Billy Blanks fucking some hot white chics.
If you'd like to comment on this story, here's a good place to do so.
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