I had the opportunity to spend some time bonding with Syren at AVN's Erotica LA show. Of course, I didn't get to bond with her in the way I'd really like to bond with her (if you get my drift), but we did experience some interpersonal bonding; at least I've convinced myself that we did. It's not like it was the first time I've met this incredibly seductive syren (she's aptly named). I've met her a number of times before, but during those times the bonding thing didn't really happen.

Syren's a very captivating syren. To say she's spontaneous is an understatement. You never know what's going to come out of her mouth next. You have to really stay tuned-in when talking with her because she's covers a whole lot of ground in a short period of time. And once you think you have her figured she throws a curve at you and you begin to fall under Syren's spell. I'll bet she could give Saint Peter a run for his money for the title "Fisher of Men." Like I said, Syren's aptly named: Shakespear wrote that a Syren is "An enticing, dangerous woman." And let me tell you, she's about as enticing as they come--and exactly because of that--she's probably as dangerous as they come as well. Maybe not dangerous in a physical danger kind of way, but certainly dangerous in a seductive, grab hold of your whole life and twist it around like a piece of Silly Putty kind of way. I'm sure all you guys know of what I speak.

Like I said in my first report, I hung with Robert "the Mr. Rogers of Porn" Lombard. Who would have known he's a skilled lap dancer? I didn't want to ask where he learned his craft or under what circumstances. Some things between guys are best left unsaid.

Smash Pictures' GM Lewis Adams worked the show like a Tennessee plow mule (i.e., the show being the mule, not Lewis). I figured Lewis had some good marketing and PR chops--after all, he was a VP of Marketing for LFP--but he really impressed me as he balanced all the usual show bullshit, conducted interviews, stayed on top of the girls we had signing (figuratively, not physically), and as all around keeper of Smash's show image. Lewis did a great job letting all the porn press people know about Smash's parent company, Horizon Media, and it's recent deal with Penthouse to open the first, Penthouse Boutique, adult shop. (How's that for sucking some cock? Figuratively, of course.)

VCA had a booth and they still looked like VCA. I didnt' see any evidence of their recent LFP/Borg assimilation. Let's see if they still look like VCA come the next Vegas show.

I had a pretty lengthy conversation with AIM's Sharon Mitchell and let's just say that in my opinion the blood-testing wars might be heating up a bit real soon. I'd put my money on AIM.

AVN's new honcho, Tim Connelly, made the rounds making sure everyone was as happy as could be expected given the bullshit that goes with participating in these events. I told Tim that all I hear are good things about him and his new post at AVN. (Yeah, like what I hear really matters in the grand scheme of things.) Tim seemed genuinely grateful for my observation, which of course made me feel really grateful for Tim seeming like he was really grateful cuz what the fuck does it matter what I think or observe if you get what I mean. Personally, I think Tim's going to be really good for the biz in his new position. (Whoah! Now I've sucked dicked twice in the same article. You might be thinking it's three times, but what I said about Mitchell doesn't count as sucking dick cuz, well, cuz she aint got a dick.)

Felicia Fox and Tim Case had their very own booth. Ya know, for relative newcommers to the West Coast version of the porn biz (and let's face it, it's the version that counts) those two are pretty fucking impressive at getting the word out. Like I said in an earlier article, next time any of you think you need a publicist, look no further than Skeeter Kerkove--you can also add Felicia Fox & Tim Case, KayLynn (who also had her own booth), Digital G's Robert Lombard, Samantha Sterling, Serenity and Steve of Las Vegas Novelties, and others to that "look no further" list.

Speaking of not needing a publicist, I spent some quality time with Publicist Carly Milne at the show. Carly's looking good; really fucking good. I don't know what she's done to herself but her ass looked so freaking fine! She's got a great rack too, but I already knew that. I wanted to grab that publicity driven ass and squeeze it, mold my hands and fingers to it, but you know, I'm too much the gentleman and all. Carly was wearing these pant things that formed and clung and adhered to her butt-cheeks in the nicest possible way. She was in one of her client's booths--a smut shop/sex boutique in West Hollywood or West L.A., I don't really remember--and there was this chic in the booth who did a really good job of ignoring all the little flirtacious things I said to her. Later, it was pointed out to me by the world famous Toby Dammit that the chic has a dick (yep, a tranny), and can you believe that a pornographer with all my experience didn't notice? Oh well. She,or he, or it was still cute, in spite of having a dick.

That's it for now, I'll probably have more Erotica El Lay recollections/observations tomorrow.




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