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SOME UNIMPORTANT COMMENTARY
_POSTEDON 2003-08-04 13:45:10 by jimmyd

The Jiz Biz jimmyd _writes "

Wow! Thereís so much going on in the jizz biz for me to comment on I donít hardly know where to begin!

I think maybe Iíll start with Michael Stefano of PlatinumX and his ill-thought-out response to some wanker on XXXPornTalk. Mike! Dude! What the fuck were you thinking? Youíre a new company, bro. You have a lot at stake. Why alienate your customers even if you think theyíre full of shit? And if that was some kind of porno marketing ploy (using a reverse psychology strategy), maybe you oughta think about hiring one of the many, many, many porn publicists walking the streets here in the West Valley. Think about this, Mike, if you bought a car from GM and it was a lemon (and Iím not saying your movie is a lemon, so bear with me on this) and you wrote and complained about it and some executive from GM wrote you back and called you a worthless piece of shit how many more cars would you buy from GM? And nothiní for nothiní Mike, if thereís a scene missing thatís on the box thatís a big BIG fucking no-no! That ainít something you dismiss as being unimportant. Thatís worse than fucked-up encoding on your DVD! And hereís a little tech tip: If youíre going to put more on the DVD than can fit, you donít fuck with the encoding, you use a DVD that can hold more content (like a DVD9). Of course, if what you wrote has absolutely no impact whatsoever on DVD sales it might then prove that every time anyone logs on to XXXPornTalk and posts something aimed at marketing a product, or any time someone positively reviews a product on XXXPornTalk, it doesnít mean shit! Get my drift? But donít worry about winning any Foot-in-the-Mouth awards, Mike. Larry Flynt's ambassador, Kris Kramsky, still has that category sewn up.

My next commentary comes under the heading of ďwhat wonít pornographers do to sell some product?Ē Witness Mary Carey running for Governor of California. According to Mark Kulkisí press release regarding this, MaryĎs campaign slogan is ďWeíve had Brown...Weíve Tried Gray...Now itís time for some Blonde!Ē Now I donít know Miss Carey, but my porn-gut tells me she didnít write that clever little slogan. And it is clever! Maybe Larry Flynt could paraphrase it a bit and use if for his campaign slogan. Larry could change it to ďWeíve had Brown...Weíve Tried Gray... Now itís time for some Pink! Hustler Pink!Ē Not bad, huh?

Speaking of Larry Flyntís push for the governorís mansion, I heard on the news this morning that because of Californiaís easy-qualifying rules to run for the stateís biggest job, and with so many candidates running, someone could win by only getting 10% of the vote! And when you figure most people donít even bother voting, Larry might be able to win if he could just convince (or bribe) everyone who works in porn industry to register and vote for him. Geez! We (the jizz biz) might be a political force without even knowing it!

Hamilton Steele writes in: "Jimmy: What is this bullshit about Kiki's snatch stinking. I've gone down on the girl, even stuck my tongue up her ass. She smelled clean and fresh to me! I would work with her again any time. --Hamilton"

jimmyD sez: Yeah, but Hamilton, you'd do all that even is she did stink!

Well, thatís it for now. Iím tired of writing even though thereís a whole bunch more trivial shit going on in the XXX biz. I should get back to my Ebay sales. My total sales for this past weekend, by the way, ended up totaling about $800! And it was all little shit I had laying around and stored in boxes that I hadnít even looked at in a couple of years.



"


 
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