THIS IS HOW PORNO SOMETIMES IS :: Simply Jimmy D :: Breakin' News or Breakin' Balls: It's all the same to me!

jimmyd _writes "I got an email from a girl in the biz the other day. I've shot her before. She's in her early forties, I believe, and yeah, I've shot her in some 'old lady' movie. I say 'old lady movie because we call it that. It's kind of an all-encompassing label, as the talent may range from late 30's to late 60's.

These kind of flicks are tough to cast because there aren't that many women in this age range doing porn. And amongst them, more than a few really don't look old enough to be in something called an 'old lady' movie. But a job's a job. And even if we have to put a gray wig on 40 year old, so be it.

I thought I'd print her email here on the site. It might be fun to try and figure out who the people are she refers to. I'm pretty sure I've already done that. There's some pretty easy clues in there.

The real reason I'm printing it, though, is because it represents the part of porn that I personally resent. The part of porn that has no heart. The part of porn that says all the bad shit people say about us is sometimes true.

It's the part of porn that makes us a bunch of carnies.

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Okay, I need to rant and rave. And this will be rambling and incoherant but I need to vent.

This fucking business!

I agree to do a scene for a company known for its nastiness. I've learned how to hold out for money more appropriate to my talents, and I let that be my motivation to take said job. Okay, fine. I refuse to add anal into the mix because once they're negotiating with me in person they won't meet the prices they had lured me in with. I hold out and win for at least the original fare offered for boy/girl. (I have learned alot in one year and can be hard-nosed anymore when pressed, but obviously not as hard-skinned as I thought, since I'm still pissed). I whip off some excellent "pretty girls", tolerate some idiotic interview, and throw in a kick-ass strip dance. Well and good. Scene begins, I'm working with longtime friend, I know things'll get rough but hey, I'm fiesty. Scene turns out to be a basic barrage of age-related insults, very graphic and cruel. I quickly pick up the vernacular and give as good as I'm getting back to my none-too-young costar. I spit, I slap, I verbally lock swords, and am a total good sport. I don't leap all over the guy with wild abandon because that's a little hard to do whilst being told what a loose ugly floppy hag I am, but attendant crew is tickled by the vicious sparring. The scene is mean, completely non-erotic, basically a Don Rickles insult fest coupled with some lousy fucking. What am I supposed to do? Beg pleadingly for sex from some bloated old guy who's acting like he's doing me a favour by playing with my withered parts? But we carry it along by virtue of my physical strength and mental acumen. In other words, I can basically beat the guy up and toss back as many insults as I receive. (Ironically, he's yakking about old loose cunts and then can't get himself in me because I'm rather tight. Ha.) We get through it, popshot takes forever since he has to focus on some ballisticly impacted chicks in the background while I wait for fucking ever to be his cum receptacle ( that was actually the lowest moment - when this guy is desperately yanking, eyes far away, and I'm just sitting and waiting like a totally peripheral object - I almost walked right then, my innate sense of dignity and worth bucking against my greed and the knowledge that I had given them a nice run for their money).

Scene done, I leave, go home and wake up the next day realizing how pissed off I am. I'm used to the bullshit that takes a good-looking woman in her young 40's, younger than madonna or sharon stone or Kim basinger, and calls her grandma - but the more I thought about this shoot, the more I seethed. And I'm fucking polite, I go around and thank everyone before leaving etc. No one, not even my costar, could even say "nice job handling being shat all over". And the director, when I asked her beforehand if there was any particular thing she wanted from the scene, says "oh, you know, a sensual loving scene that people will want to beat off to." That enrages me as well, I'm obviously bright, and could have been told the deal and still handled it, in fact I more or less expected a certain measure of bang-the-hag ambience. But this bullshit bimbo passing such an outright lie really galls me. Was she scared I'd walk?? Didn't she think it might totally fuck up a less deft performer to be told "soft and sensual" and then get Grandma Moses abuse coupled with puking noises in the background? That little attempt at bullshit really makes me want to practice the worst kind of street violence on this chick. At least when I do most of these "mature" scenes, the scene itself is more or less conducted like a fuck that 2 people are into, regardless of what crap they write on the box afterwards. And the classier producers know how to sell mature talent without doing the old thing of reviling them.

I don't know, the whole thing has me spitting mad: mad at the young self-important director who thought she had to give me that 'sensual scene" bullshit, mad at my friend who thought I would act all hot for him while he sucked his cigar, said how ugly I was, and couldn't even say "thanks for being so cool and fun about that whole thing" and mad at this business for just getting more and more away from eroticism and instead elevating cheap lowlifes like Kid Vegas--soon we'll all be fucking barnyard animals and feeling lucky for the work. And this guy I worked with used to run around doing some rap about how "porn" was an evil word, reserved only for those companies that trashed women, and how he and his gal were into the art of sex blah blah blah and now he's whoring himself out for everything this company does. AAARGH! Phew. I think I'm done.

Thanks for listening. I need to go do something like Boss Bitches, channel this rage and not get called old hag right on camera. There did used to be a middle ground for the barely middle-aged. I wish an interesting decade for the women running this shoot when they reach 35 or 40. I'll be happy to go kick their ass as they whine about how hard it is to work anymore.

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Here's a follow-up email I just received from another performer who sometimes works in these 'old lady' videos:

I read my friend's rant, I knew who she was, and who the other parties involved were. I can totally relate to her rage. I too have done the same series she's talking about and other old lady scenes, being in my early 40s. Fortunately, I'm also hired for looks and talent sometimes,
age not mattering. What I find humorous about the age discrimination, is when I go out to my goth/industrial/punk shows, I have college boys hitting on me, who almost faint when I tell them my age. In mainstream films and rock there's a lot of sexy hot women 35 and over.
But in porn, with it's pedophiliac mindset, we're cast as over the hill grannies. You just have to consider the source sometimes. A lot of porn is about control and manipulation of females, and it's hard to pass that off with an educated woman 35-45. So we have to be degraded in other ways, namely our ages. What does bother me at times, is when younger, slightly out of shape, less attractive women get more work with better pay, only because they're younger. This seems to be one industry that pays less for experience in the field. lol. but who said life is fair? That's why bdsm/fetish is often kinder to older women. A dominant sexy mature woman is treated with more respect, not as some old hag. But I try to not take any of it too seriously, to maintain my own personal sense of worth.

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