Patrick Collins missed his calling: He should have been a lawyer… or maybe something worse like a politician.

In an article on AVN.com announcing a deal between Elegant Angel and Devils Films/IVC wherein Devils/IVC will take over distribution of Elegant’s product, Collins had this to say regarding the worth of the deal, or its potential worth, or how the worth is worthy, or something about worth that I can’t quite comprehend.

“The deal is worth a lot. How its worth a lot and how it translates to worth between the two of us doesn’t need to be known – but the worth is substantial,” Elegant Angel owner Patrick Collins told AVN.com

Whew! Is that a full mouthful of nothing or what? Let’s take Patrick’s statement and dissect it a bit.

“The deal is worth a lot.”

I’m thinking this statement means Patrick’s gonna make some serious money off this deal assuming that “money” is the “worth” he’s referring to. Because, you know, there’s a lot of things that might constitute “worth” in someone's mind. You might have heard the old adage, “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” Well, “worth” is a little like “beauty” in that way: One guy’s worth is another guy’s garbage—that kind of thing. So maybe Patrick’s talking about some other kind of “worth.” Who knows? Probably only Patrick.

Then Mr. Elegant Sodomania Man gets even more mysterioso when he says: “How its worth a lot and how it translates to worth between the two of us doesn’t need to be known – but the worth is substantial.”

Wowzers! What the fuck does that mean? Now I’m totally confused. Not only do I NOT know what kind of “worth” the man’s talking about, he’s saying that the “worth” only “translates” into “worth” by some mysterious formula that only he (and I’m assuming the guy from Devils/IVC) knows about. And THEN he basically says, “Fuck you!” to anyone and everyone who might want to know what kind of “worth” he’s really talking about and how much “worth” it might equal. And finally he adds that this mysterious and unknown “worth” really is "worth" a lot which sounds really great but its also kind of vague because just like “beauty,” one guy’s version of “substantial” is another guy’s pittance and visa versa.

So there you have it: this deal probably is “worth” something. Although what that something is and what its “worth” and how much its “worth” and how it might be worthy is anyone’s guess. But if I was going to take a shot at guessing the worthiness of this "worth," I’d say it's probably “worth” something.







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