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WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE GUYS KIDDING?
_POSTEDON 2003-09-10 19:08:11 by jimmyd

Tales of Pornography jimmyd _writes "So I'm reading the big stories on AVN.com--I mean the REALLY BIG stories--like the one where Steve Orenstein is wondering where people like Gene Ross, and I guess myself, get their info from-- specifically regarding the rumored LFP/Wicked buy-out. Now let me tell you all something: these people know perfectly well where this info comes from. So who the fuck do you guys think you're kidding?

Speaking of who the fuck is kidding who, check out this incredibly pretentious press release about Michael Ninn's new (from old stock) BJ movie, "POP: The Beauty of the Blowjob."

Apparently, even the shit that gets cut out of Ninn's movies is so fucking "brilliant" that one can cut a whole new "brilliant" movie out of it! Which I guess makes Ninn the "Einstein of Porn." Oh, and this tape ain't a "comp" (compilation tape) like everyone else releases. Oh no, a "comp" wouldn't be "brilliant" enough for Ninn. So Ninn's "comp" is being called a fucking "hybrid." And you know why? Well, because it's made up of the shit that wasn't good enough to be in the movie it was shot for. But don't worry, this stuff is "brilliant" regardless of the fact that it wasn't good enough the first time around... I guess which makes the movie it was shot for even more "brilliant" because there's all this less "brilliant" stuff that didn't make the original cut.

Now I gotta admit I think this "hybrid" idea is really sweet because I have a whole shit-load of footage that I've shot, yet never put in the final cut of the movies I've directed. You see, generally I shoot somewhere around a 3:1 ratio. That means I shoot about three times as much footage as I need to make the movie I'm making. That also means that, theoretically and according to "Ninn's Theory of Porn Relativity," I have enough footage for the movie I set out to make, plus two additional "hybrids." So if this "hybrid" thing actually catches on, I figure I can cut dozens of "hybrid" movies from all the junk footage (in Ninn's case, "brilliant" footage) I have for nothing more than my time and the cost of the boxes and duplication.

Wow! I think I smell some serious money coming my way if "hybrids" become popular. And if they do become popular, expect your local adult video store's shelves to become filled with "hybrids" because there's nothing pornographers like more than making a lot of money without actually spending any, or at least very little.

Back to the press release where the pretentiousness gets even better because, according to Ninn's publicist, it seems that Mister Ninn, the "Einstein of Porn," actually invented the art of having the blowjob-bitch stare into the camera while she sucks cock! And here I thought Al Borda invented just about everything that shooters ROUTINELY shoot in many, many movies, albeit less "brilliant" movies.

Like I said, "Who the fuck are these guys kidding?"



"

 
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