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ALLYSIN CHAINS MIGHT BE IN THE NEWS
_POSTEDON 2002-04-24 10:14:11 by jimmyd |
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 jimmyd _writes "
Seems pornstar Allysin Chains might reap some mainstream PR from her nom d'porn. I've received some inquiries from the mainstream press who would like to contact Ms. Chains and ask her a few questions regarding how the death of Alice in Chains' lead singer, Layne, has personally affected her. Anyone who knows how I can get in touch with Allysin, or if Ms. Chains herself reads this column, please email me with contact info. (You might be wondering why I don't pick up the phone and make some calls and find Allysin myself. Well, while I am a serious jounalist, I'm also a pornographer. And the pornographer in me wonders what I get out of spending the time finding Allysin. Nothing, zip, nada, right? So there you have it. Allysin finds me, or I don't find Allysin. What a prick, huh.)
In other Allysin Chains news, I received the following email. Always needing to fill some cyber-space, I thought I'd publish it.
Boscoe writes:
I wonder why Allysin Chains wants to change her name now that Layne (lead singer of Alice in Chains) is dead. I think she should have thought about coming up with an original name long before last week's tragedy. Did she think the band was thrilled to see their name on porn box covers? Did that prove that she was their biggest fan? Don't get me wrong I love porn and rockin music but when I first heard of this girl I thought wtf doesn't Allysin have an original thought in her brain? I was thinking of some names for poor Allysin today. How about Pearl Jammer? Or here is an original Marylinn Manson. I think going with the Linn instead of the over used Lynn will help Allysin stand out in the future. Without me going on a rampage and making up cute names for porn stars, why don't you tell Allysin to go with a classic way when picking her name? The name of her first dog and the first street she lived on. But, the idea I think is the all time greatest is to pick someone she hates and use his or her name.
Yours Truly,
Boscoe"
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