According to a story running on AVN, someone threw a hand grenade yesterday into an Iraqi theater that was showing a porn flick. (They were probably showing some crappy Leisure Time comps, so who can blame them?)

AVN reports: “MOSUL, Iraq - Yesterday two people were killed and 20 were injured in Mosul, the second largest city in Iraq, when a hand grenade was thrown into a movie theater that was showing porn.”

And it got me to thinking about how the jizz biz could help the U.S. government win the war in Iraq and maybe score some bonus points with the Feds: I think we should donate tons of porn to the war effort. (Note: If you think the war in Iraq has already been won simply because Saddam Hussein was removed from power, you’re misinformed and mistaken.)

Once the Feds have all this porn, they ship it to Iraq and have the troops setup big screen TVs and DVD or VHS machines all over the country to show the porn. Pretty soon, Iraqi raincoaters are gathering to watch the best of Anabolic, Red Light, VCA, Vivid, hell, they might even watch some of my stuff! Anyway, in less time than it takes to jerk-off to a Tom Zupko flick--well, ok, maybe in less time than that--the religious zealots (who are not much unlike anti-porn, Christian zealots in this country--and dare I say it? Zealots in the Justice Department as well), will start tossing hand grenades at all the Iraqi porn fans. All the troops have to do is let the zealots toss their grenades at the raincoaters and then shoot the zealots! Fucking simple, no? War’s over in a couple of days and--since a lot of Iraqi raincoaters will probably survive the grenade attacks--a new, foreign, porn market is born.

Win/Win for everyone! (Except maybe the zealots and some raincoaters.)

I think I should mail my idea to the White House. I think I might be on to something here. Of course, the only down-side to this is it might help George in the ratings polls.




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