SOME END-OF-THE-WEEK COMMENTS (WITH CLEVER SEGUES) :: Simply Jimmy D :: Breakin' News or Breakin' Balls: It's all the same to me!

jimmyd _writes "I'm sitting here waiting for a tape I'm dubbing to finish so I thought I'd make a few comments about nothing particularly important. The tape, by the way, is called "Busta Nut," and it's available from Smash Pictures. Busta is an animated, porn-pimp from deep inside the hood. The animation is first-rate and I predict continuing BIG sales and BOFFO reviews for this ethnic-themed gem.

Ok, here's my cleverly segued comments for a Friday afternoon:

1. It's possible that I'm the only person on the face of the Earth who's noticed this because I might very well be the only person on the face of the Earth who occasionally checks out this website, but I think I'll still comment on the fact that Kevin Moore's StunningCurves.com hasn't been updated in almost a month. Interestingly, the last update reads, "I don't feel like doing any real work, so I'll just shovel some shit instead," as its headline. In defense of Kevin, however, I'll observe that if Kevin finally updates within the next 45 days or so, whatever news he publishes will still be more timely than anything you'll read in the next three issues of AVN magazine.

2. Speaking of AVN magazine (howz that for a segue?), my Smash Pictures ode to middle-age crazy, "2 Young 4 U Too!" received a 4-star review in this month's AVN. (I know... I know, they're not stars, they're "A's." But what the fuck do the "A's" stand for? Assholes?) Anyway, while I'm not the kind of guy who overly concerns himself with reviews, I have to give credit to Darklady (who reviewed the flick) because--in her review--she insightfuly noted that all the male characters in the movie are portrayed as being "morally conflicted." Who woulda thought there could be moral conflicts in a porn flick? More unusual than that-- Who woulda thought anyone would notice? Thanks for noticing, Darklady.

3. And on the subject of noticing things (segues continue), I usually check out AdultFYI.com a couple of times a day--and maybe it's just me--but does anyone else think, or have you noticed, that Gene Ross's reporting has become... I don't know... somewhat "sanitized" since he hooked up with KSEX radio PJ (Porn Jockey) Wankus (aka Wayne C. Lewis)?

4. Getting back to moral conflicts (this is a delayed segue, i.e., it segues from comments in #2-- skipping over [thus delaying itself] the comments in #3--and segueing into #4-- I'm very clever with the segues, delayed or otherwise, huh), anyway, speaking of moral conflicts, or rather those who don't seem to have any, I just realized its been months since Khan Tusion has raised his evil, ugly head and been the subject of any porn news at all. I guess that's why they say "no news is good news," whoever "they" are.

5. I've been asked to write a monthly (or every couple of months) article for a rather intellectual publication. (No segue here.) The publisher, in his description of what he'd like me to write about, says, "...you wouldn't be "token porn guy." You'd pretty much be yourself. I don't edit for content, so you have free rein to write about what you please. The most important thing, I've found, is to find writers that can bring a strong personality. I think you've got that covered."

Later on in his email to me he said this: "What you can write about isn't really much different than what Zoran Andjelic does: he's a guy who went to Lebanon for a story and never left, you went to a porn set and never left. They're both stories totally alien to most of our readers, but not terribly different from one another, except, of course, you're funnier."

Gee. Thanks for noticing. (Note: I would have never thought I might someday become the Zoran Andjelic of the porn biz... Hows that for moving up in the world?)

The truth is, tho, I'm pretty flattered by this offer and I think I'm gonna bite cuz, you know, what the world really needs right now is someone to put porn into a social, economic, and global perspective. As far as renumeration for this writing adventure, the publisher had this to say, "As for the money part of it, I'm a small and bitter man and we've done well exploiting Third World writers' wages. So tell me what you think it's worth to you and I'll come back with something."

Hey dude! I've been in the porn biz for a long time. I'm used to working for "small and bitter" men. Sounds like this will be just like everything else I do. (Note: The publisher's use of the term "small and bitter man," and my humorous observation of working with "small and bitter men" in the jizz biz is not a segue. It's a... uhmm... I don't know what it is, but it's not a segue.)

Ok. That's it. The tape's done dubbing and I'm out of segues and/or shit to comment on.

"


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