Shakespear wrote: "The first thing let's do, let's kill all the lawyers." And after reading the dribble coming out of the cigar-chomping, whiskey-breath mouth of porn's very own attorney/meatpuppet, Don Hollywood, I'm ready to whack him myself.

I'm refering to the nice-nice emailing between Emerson and Don Hollywood, and the earlier articles that spawned the nice-nice. I respect the way Emerson balanced her final words, like a carnie on a tightrope (out of respect for an established friendship and/or possibly for thinking she just fucked herself out of some future work), but I still want to heave.


It's fucking pathetic when talent finds a place to work, maybe the only continuing place this talent is going to find to work, and then dribbles on, extolling the virtues of that workplace, when just about every other person who has survived it reports exactly the opposite.

And because of the mountains of testimony I've heard from so many players regarding working conditions over there, I'm suddenly supposed to believe a porno-mouthpiece while he tries to make this woman believe she didn't experience what she experienced, and she didn't feel what she felt.

Give me a fucking break!

I've shot the kind of movies Emerson and Don just worked in. I've shot more of them than Ms. Lizzy has. Unfortunately, I haven't been lucky enough to win a Worst Movie of the Year Award with any of them, not even a nomination for such an award. But in making those flicks, I don't think I ever belittled the players. And if I have, I apologize, but I don't think I have.

So please don't try and con us with your Perry-fucking-Mason bullshit. This isn't a trial here.

HOLD THE PRESSES!

I just read Veronica Cain's take on this. Again, I want to barf. Man, they certainly all stick together like a pack of rats over there, don't they? Talk about singing from the same hymnbook! And they do it with such conviction!

Veronica says Emerson insults Lizzy. Puhleez, I saw 'Forced Entry.' Lizzy insults the whole fucking world. And Veronica, aka Barret Moore, should hide her head in a hole for being a part of it. Not that "Forced Entry" has anything to do with this current extreme bruhaha, I just thought I'd make a point with it. And the point is, I don't think too many people over there are even "insultable."

I remember Barret before she ever did a hardcore scene and her stating with great conviction how she would never fuck in front of a camera. Sometime later, after she'd fucked in front of more than a few cameras, I heard her claim, with equal conviction, she would never do an anal scene. Please drop the 'conviction' out of your voice, Ms. Caine, you don't wear it well.

I guess the whole point here is credibility. Who is more credible? If you've read the constant series of dysfuntional antics that emerge from the hearts and minds of extremers via the extremegene conduit, I think you'll quckly believe the word of a forty-something pornstar you maybe never heard of before.

And please don't anyone over there lecture me on sissy porn, or vanilla porn, or tell me it's just because I'm a dinosaur, or whatever, because A) I haven't been in this biz since the Jurrasic, I've only been in it since I think '93 or '94; and B) I'd have the vast majority of the planet agreeing with me on this one; and C) I've shot some sick shit every bit as extreme as anyone over there has, I'm just not very proud of it.

Emerson. Go with what you know is right. Fuck them. Fuck everyone. You know what happened. You know what you felt. And don't let these people intimidate you into believing anything other than what you know is true.

Don, you don't need to be a propaganda tool for retards. You're a good guy, I've always enjoyed working with you. And although you're probably not going to work everyday because you are a character type, there is work for you in this biz elsewhere, including in my productions when I need the kind of character I know you can deliver. But quit singing from that particular unholy hymnbook, will ya please? It sounds worse than bad Karaoke.

Sheesh.

P.S. Anyone who wants to see Don Hollywood in a truly memorable scene should rent or buy VCA's, "Succubus," and check out Don, and Kyle Stone, and the lovely Brooke Hunter in the "bums in the alley" scene. (Ironically, I directed this movie.)"