HOW DO I GET INTO DENNIS HOF'S WILL? ***UPDATE!!! HARRY WEISS CHECKS IN*** :: Simply Jimmy D :: Breakin' News or Breakin' Balls: It's all the same to me!

jimmyd _writes "If you missed KSEXradio's "Dee and the Fatmen Show" last night, you missed a show that was not quite as good as a below average episode of Jerry Springer, but better than most of what I've seen or listened to on KSEX. I watched the show on my really nice, 18" Sony flat screen monitor in the comfort of my office, while cyber-residing in the KSEX (MIrc) chat room.

The first half-hour of "Dee and the Fatmen" was little more than a bunch of banal drivel between the show's hosts: the very sexy Dee and her two fat men: Steve "Mister Softie" Seidman and the trying-too-hard-to-be-glib, Harry "Shecky" Weiss. Had Dee taken the time to strip off her top and flash her near-perfect tits, the show's opening segment would have been improved. But that didn't happen.

After the break, Dee and her fat men got down to business. And the business was to be Steve Seidman's trashing of Dennis Hof and his Bunny Ranch. But things didn't go according to plan. Instead of the much anticipated trashing, Seidman suddenly performed a Frank Pentangelie impression as he seemed to forget everything he said he knew about Hof and the Bunny Ranch. (Maybe I'm being a bit petty, but the clever Frank Pentangeli/Godfather 2 analogy was one I made in the chat room that, apparently, was lifted by Gene Ross for his coverage of the show.)

Weiss, who looked as confused as the guy playing the Senator Kefauver role in Godfather 2, tried his best to extract what he knew Seidman had claimed he knew about Hof, but Seidman dodged all attempts by Weiss to get the (alleged) goods on Hof. Dee kind of stayed out of the whole thing.

I began getting some private messages in the KSEX (MIrc) chat room from some people whose names I won't mention which basically told me that a set-up had taken place and Dennis Hof would be making a surprise appearance and things might get interesting. (The kind of set-up I'm refering to relates to Seidman being set-up... or ambushed... or whatever you want to call it.)

And sure enough, in walks Hof.

As Hof grabbed a mic and sat down, Seidman performed a smooth actor's transition from his Frankie Pentangeli impression to Jackie Gleason doing his "homina-homina-hom-hom-homina..." schtick.

Now if you want a more detailed account of what Hof had to say and what Seidman didn't have to say and how Weiss suddenly thought he was Morley Safer of 60 Minutes fame you can read it all on AdultFYI.com where they have this B&W headshot of Hof looking an awful lot like Spiro Agnew for those of you who remember who Spiro was and what he looked like. There's currently--as of this writing--three articles on the AdultFYI about this whole thing and some other shit related to it. I've read them all, and I must say it's pretty thorough coverage.

I would just like to comment on a few things though (C'mon! You knew I'd make a few comments, didn't ya?)

First off--and this is just my opinion, but then that's what this site is all about... my fucking opinions--I think "Morley" Wess forgot that Seidman was his co-host and not a guest once Hof arrived. What I'm saying is this: If it were my show and my co-host began acting like a man with a gun to his head and some guy who WAS a guest came on the show and began slamming my co-host the way Hof slammed Seidman, I think I would have remembered that it was my co-host who was getting slammed. And instead of distancing myself from my co-host, as Weiss seemed to do as he suddenly treated Seidman like a guest rather than his co-host, I would like to think I would have maybe defended him... or at least defended the fact that *I* (the *I* being Weiss) was also involved in the plans for the show, i.e., the show being about slamming Hof who suddenly showed up and ended up doing all the slamming. But that's just my opinion.

Dee smartly stayed the fuck out of the whole thing. In fact, she looked decidedly uncomfortable, even somewhat embarassed, as Hof threw his "You were someone's bitch in prison..." and "You're a piece of shit!" bashes at Seidman.

And I guess if I were Seidman, I'd be (besides being a bit humiliated and feeling like I was tossed to the wolves) thinking of resigning my fat man status on this show which would simply leave show being the "Dee and the Fat Man Show" which, also in my opinion, might not make that big a difference to the show's overall entertainment value.

But that aside, there's one thing I remember from the show that stuck in my mind: Hof rambled on for awhile about some shit about Jimmy Flynt being in Hof's will and how Jimmy will be getting a shitload of money after Hof's demise. And then, if you read the articles on AdultFYI, you'll also see some comments about how Sunset Thomas will inherit 10-12 million dollars after Hof kicks it and I think there was some other mention of someone else getting a piece of Hof's estate.

So now I'm wondering if Hof has had some kind of premonition about his own death as he keeps saying shit about it. And it also seems he's worth a pretty penny and that he's going to leave hunks of that pretty penny to different people in his life like Jimmy Flynt who probably doesn't need to be left a piece of Dennis Hof's pretty penny. And I'm thinking that if Hof is going to leave money to people who may or may not need any money, maybe there's a way I can get in good enough with him so maybe he'll leave me some of that Bunny Ranch mega-pimp's money which maybe is what Weiss was thinking when this whole fucking thing got planned and played out.

So Dennis, if you read this, what does a humble pornographer like myself need to do to get some of that dough you'll be spreading around while taking your dirt nap? It doesn't have to be all that legal or ethical or moral cuz I'm just another porn whore like a lot of other people in this business which is why I'm making a play for some of your money.

And as for everyone else out there, you might want to consider playing nice with Mr. Hof from now on cuz, after all, he's gong to be spreading a bunch of money around after he goes to that big whorehouse in the sky and you never know if maybe you could be one of them!

****UPDATE****

Harry Weiss, a.k.a. one of Dee's fat men and part-time Morley Safer impersonator, checks in and takes me to task. Morley, I mean Harry, also sorts out out some stuff this amateur reporter reported regarding last night's installment of the "Dee and the Fatmen Show" (See Above).

Harry writes: "Jimmy D. -- You misunderstanding, trying-too-hard-to-be-glib, no-regard-for-the-facts mother-fucker. My co-host, Steve Seidman, had spent the last week bragging to certain people and websites about how the upcoming "Dee and the Fatmen Show" (KSEXRadio.com) would be the arena for him to spill the beans on the whole Sunset Thomas-Dennis Hof-Bunny Ranch story. This was supposed to be his opportunity to air the dirty laundry of this whole mess. In all fairness, I made a public invite to Dennis Hof to call in or appear on the show to defend himself and refute any allegations. As I was driving to the KSEX station, I received a call from Wankus informing me that Dennis Hof had flown in for the show and would be there. There was no secret setup of Steve. It was the opportunity for Dennis Hof to face his would be accuser. I repeatedly gave my co-host, Steve Seidman, every opportunity to dish the dirt. I lead him along by asking what "allegedly" happened or for his personal opinion. He refused to answer. This surprised and shocked me. At that point, Steve was no longer my co-host prepared to put on a good show, he became a guest. Since Steve wasn't going to participate in the show, it was my responsibility to ask the tough questions and treat him with equal status to Dennis Hof, the other guest. I believe I was fair to both, pushing both to tell their sides of the story. Dennis accepted my challenge and did not duck any of my questions, some of which were not pleasant. Unfortunately, Steve did not. I gave Steve a chance to close the show and get in the final word, but he declined. --Harry L. Weiss

jimmyD sez: So does this mean Steve is fired? Will he be losing his "fat man" status? And if so, if Dee fails to show up for a show, will it simply be "The Fat Man Show?" Hey! I'm just trying to get my facts right without being glib.

"


	Search


WARNING · Extreme Adult Content Discretion Advised