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HARRY WEISS' REALLY IMPORTANT PRESS RELEASE
_POSTEDON 2002-05-07 17:36:26 by jimmyd |
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 jimmyd _writes " I got a somewhat indignant, mostly miffed voice mail from Metro P.R. guy, Harry Weiss this afternoon. Harry's none too pleased with me. I've again neglected to post an official Metro press release he emailed to me. Harry's also P.O.'d because this is the second time I've dissed him and Metro this way.
I guess I probably should show a little more respect. After all, Harry's the ONLY official PR guy for a major adult company who actually sends me press releases. I guess I should take that as a compliment.
I could get a little catty with Harry and say, "Hey Harry, throw me a small bone, you know, throw a little work my way and I'll print you all the freakin' press releases you want." But I'm not that kind of guy. Besides, all that time Quasarman had his site I sure don't remember him publishing any official Metro press releases, and he works exclusively for those guys.
In the past, I've told Harry that I don't think I'm a press release kind of guy. I told him that I won't be able to help myself, you know, from fucking with his press release. I told him I'd probably make fun of him or it, or whatever it talks about and that I'd be completely unable to resist doing so because that's also the kind of guy I am.
But Harry insists on sending me press releases. And then when I ignore them, he insists on insisting that I publish them. So here goes. Here's Harry's Metro press release. Just press the 'Read More' thingie below and you'll get to read this fascinating bit of porn news, with maybe a few comments by me thrown in.
DIGITAL UNDERGROUND AND METRO STUDIO CREATE CUTTING EDGE PORN
Chatsworth, CA (May 6, 2002)—Adult industry powerhouse Metro Studios and platinum record Hip-Hop superstars Digital Underground, are combining forces to create Sex and the Studio, the worlds first Adult Sex and Music Video Magazine, to bring Hip-Hop and the Adult Film world together.
“When you combine the true innovators of hip-hop and the true innovators of porn, you know that you’re going to get something special,” states Metro Studios General Manager Sam Nelson.
The five totally hardcore sex scenes are balanced between edgy, uncensored and often hilarious interviews of Hip-Hop and Rap recording artists, mainstream stars and infamous newsmakers.
“I just spent a few days on tour with Digital Underground,” says Metro Studios Director of Publicity Harry Weiss, AKA Weiss Cube, “and the footage we shot was incredible! Fans going crazy during the concert, great interviews, hot nasty sex, it’s all spontaneous and real. The cameras are always rolling, so the fans are going to see what it’s actually like to hang with the Digital Underground crew.”
Sex and the Studio is hosted by Humpty Hump and Money B, of Digital Underground, legendary artists known as “The Freaks of the Industry,” plus the seductive Adult Film star Obsession and the gorgeous new host Tracy.
“It’s like, Home Girls Gone Wild meets 106 & Park, “ explains Money B.
Digital Underground has created an alternate style of interviewing artists, similar to MTV, covering issues such as their latest album or upcoming projects. Our female hostesses expose a more erotic side of each artist, by asking questions of a sexual nature, while exposing themselves. The outcome is entertaining, when each artist’s unique perspective and sexual experiences are revealed to their fans. Also featured are exclusive segments hosted by Humpty Hump, as he takes us into the hottest nightspots across town and questions random women about their sexual experiences and fantasies. The result is unique and sometimes shocking.
A full five hardcore sex scenes plus new, never released music is featured throughout the video, creating an unmatchable sexual vibe.
* * * * * * * * *
Well, there it is Harry. Your press release. I didn't touch a word of it. I do, however, have a few questions.
First, who are these Digital Underground guys? I know, I know, I just crawled out from under a rock, but honestly, I don't have a clue who these guys are. I mean, I've heard of Ice Tea, and Snoop Doggie Dog, and Tupac, and them guys, but the legendary 'Freaks of the Industry,' Humpty Hump and Money B? Sorry, Harry. Could you run this by me again? These guys are freaks of what industry?
I know, I should shutup. I'm not much of a hip-hop kinda guy, so what do I know? I'm more with the Pink Floyd stuff. Plus if Metro's General Manager says these guys are the 'true innovators of hip-hop,' who am I to question that? Even if he also says Metro is the true innovator of porn which we all know is bullshit. Al Borda is the true innovator of porn...just ask Al.
You guys also state that by bringing together porn and hip-hop,'something special' is going o happen. Thanks. Now I keep thinking we're going to have lots of drive-by shootings in the West San Fernando Valley!
And finally, Harry, did you really go on tour with these guys? I mean, no offense, but I'm having a hard time seeing you, Harry Weiss, white, receding, I mean receded hair line (that's as nice as I can say that), full-figured, nice Jewish boy, kinda middle-age-ish, dressed in dockers, button-down collared shirt, sport jacket and penny loafers, gettin down with the brothers??? I don't know. Maybe it's just me, but I have a hard time visualizing that one!
Oh well, like I always like to say, "What do I know?" There's your press release Harry. I hope your happy now.
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