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AVNinsider: PATHETIC AS USUAL
_POSTEDON 2002-05-14 19:11:51 by jimmyd

jimmyD's Opinion jimmyd _writes "I noticed on one of the other sites that the 'decadent' Kerkoves have been given an
AVNinsider column. The Decadent Kerkoves? Is it me or does that sound like a circus act? But come to think of it, I know the Kerkoves, and 'circus act' might not be that far off the mark, if ya get my drift.

Anyway, I'm not writing this to debate the wisdom of giving a literary column to two people who redefine 'kinky.' For all I know, we have another Dash Hammet and whoever that was Jane Fonda played in the movie. Was it Lillian whatshername? The one who wrote that play about lesbians? I really dunno. Someone will write in and tell me. They always do. You know how I know? Imperial Margarine. Yep, I wrote that thing about the commercial that always said 'It's not nice to fool Mother Nature,' and I couldn't remember who the sponsor was and a reader wrote in and told me it was Imperial Margarine. Actually, it was NJG (Nice Jewish Girl) who wrote in. Some of you probably remember NJG from the old original Luke Ford site. I remember NJG because she's got really big tits.

Anyway, I'm rambling here. Let me get back to writing about AVNinsider.com.



So I log onto AVNinsider and I'm cruising up and down the list of their columnists to see if anyone's written anything new since last time I checked. For the most part, they have not. There's still that incredibly egotistical essay by Al Borda. Michael Raven is still thanking people for something. Tod Hunter has one of his more clever titles: "Hello There." Yep, that's it, "Hello There." And he gets paid for that shit too. Anyway, to make a long, boring story shorter, I notice that John Bone has penned something new.

Now John really thinks he's quite the master of the English language. Probably because he's English and it's his native tongue. Big fucking deal, I say. Most limeys think that half the world can speak English because of them. What a crock of shit. It's because of us. Americans, that is. We're the one's half the world wants to talk like. But again, I digress.

I decide to read John's newest column. It is yet another diatribe that purports to record a verbal exchange between John and Heidi--Heidi being the editor of AVNinsider--and as usual, it casts John in the role of an innocent, somewhat maligned, misunderstood, eccentric. About half way down the page we come to some dialogue that goes something like this:

Heidi: What are you going to write about next?

John: I don't know.

That's not really exactly the words, but that's pretty much what it means to say. But here's where I stop reading and actually yell out loud: "How about writing about something to do with the porn biz?"

Here we fucking go again. I'm beginning to think it's actually verboten to write anything about the jizz biz on this jizz biz site. AVN insider? You'll get more adult biz insider info with a Readers Digest subscription. I mean Holy Cow! I've yet to read anything that informs the readers about something that is 'insider' to the biz. It's fucking pathetic. I really mean that. Let me say it again: It is fucking pathetic!

So once again, I'm here to say to anyone who might be reading this: if you want to read some stuff that might actually include insider news of the porn world, DO NOT EXPECT TO READ IT AT AVNinsider!

The following sites, however, are where you CAN read the stuff you're looking for, even if you have to sometimes separate the bullshit, the lies, and the shills:

simplyjimmyd.com

lukeford.com

generossextreme.com

rec.arts.movies.erotica (not actually a site, they're a newsgroup---mostly fan written--but includes more insider stuff than AVNinsider does)

stunningcurves.com

mikesouth.com

rogreviews.com

pornnewsdaily.com

I'm probably forgetting about some others, please forgive me. I'm pre-alzheimer.

LATE UPDATE: JustMrT emails in with the answer to the Lillian whatshername question: Lillian Hellman. JustMrT wants to know if he wins anything for providing the right answer.

Sorry MrT, but no, you don't.

RubeeTuesday also wins nothing for her second place Lillian Hellman entry. Sorry Rubee, I guess you need to read and respond a bit quicker to beat out that speedyMrT.


"

 
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MOONLITE BUNNY RANCH INVENTS THE PRE-PRESS-RELEASE PRESS RELEASE!


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