GIVE ME DILDOS OR GIVE ME DEATH! :: Simply Jimmy D :: Breakin' News or Breakin' Balls: It's all the same to me!

jimmyd _writes "“Sweet home Alabama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet home Alabama
Lord, I’m coming home to you
Here I come Alabama” -Lynyrd Skynyrd

Actually, fewer people may be singing “Here I come Alabama” if they plan on coming with the help of sex toys.

“Last week, in Williams v. Attorney General of Alabama, a federal appeals court upheld an Alabama law that makes it a crime to sell or advertise sex toys. Although at some level the case--like the statute it sustains--is profoundly silly, it also raises some surprisingly deep issues.

At stake in the Williams case was nothing less than the proper role of courts in defining the scope of constitutional rights in the United States. To be sure, Patrick Henry never said "give me dildos or give me death," but he did speak of liberty, as does the Constitution. And not surprisingly, how the courts go about defining that "liberty" has ramifications far beyond the legality of vibrator sales in Mobile.”

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Yup, that’s the news from Alabama, the state who gave us George Wallace For President in 1968. You remember Wallace, don’t you? He was one of the South’s staunchest supporters of segregation who later was shot and partially paralyzed in an assassination attempt in 1972.

Here’s some vintage Wallace from his race for the Presidency: “Today I have stood where Jefferson Davis stood and took an oath to my people. It is very appropriate then that from this Cradle of the Confederacy, this very heart of the great Anglo-Saxon Southland, that today we sound the drum for freedom. . . . In the name of the greatest people that have ever trod this earth, I draw the line in the dust and toss the gauntlet before the feet of tyranny. And I say, Segregation now! Segregation tomorrow! Segregation forever!”

Well, George’s call for “Segregation forever!” didn’t have much of a future. In fact, some years later a black man was elected mayor of Selma, Alabama, once considered the epicenter of Southern bigotry and racial hatred.

But now Alabama’s turned its attention on sex and it’s citizens' rights of privacy and their freedom to engage in certain sexual practices; specifically, the purchase of sex toys.

Sometimes, when I feel like we—as a nation—have evolved, I need to smack myself in the head and remind myself about the lies and deceptions and shit spewing out of Washington courtesy of the current administration and, well, and shit like the State of Alabama wasting its fucking time and tax money worrying about what people are doing in their fucking bedrooms.

Shame on you Alabama: Apparently, you’re still a bunch of inbred, red-necked hillbillies short on gray matter and long on intolerance.

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WARNING · Extreme Adult Content Discretion Advised