A reader wrote in to my good buddies at LukeFord and pointed out the crummy review AVN wrote about a movie, AGENCY BLUE, that I directed sometime last summer.

Of course, those crazy pranksters at LF.com printed the shitty review for all the world to see. And even though those guys know I could really give a shit, I decided to hurl a comment or two for them to publish anyway.

If you haven't read this already on LF.com, here's what I emailed to Paul Flashburn there:


Dear Paul:

Probably the reason AVN gave "Agency Blue" a poor review is because the movie fucking sucks! I mean it. It really sucks. It blows! It's a piece of shit! And in that part in the begining, I didn't just say it's confusing or it's not very good, I said it sucks! And I apologized for it sucking! I could go into all the reasons why it sucked, but why bother, i.e., who the fuck cares?

Legend Video doesn't care because they picked up the movie cheap and sold a shit load of it on the merits of a pretty decent looking box, the cast, and who knows, maybe even my name. Both Playboy and TEN wanted the piece, probably because the soft version made more sense and because so much of it was shot in exterior locations, and again, maybe because I made it, who knows. The cable guys really get off on sex in exterior locations. Especially public exterior locations.

But you know what? I already apologized...right there before the piece of shit begins...and I'm not going to apologize again.

Hey, come to think of it, every fucking porn director in this biz have made movies that truly suck. But how many of them went in front of the camera and told the audience BEFORE the movie even begins that what they're about to see sucks? How fucking many, huh? I'll tell you how many. One. Me. Just me. No one else. In fact, I've never met another director who even admits PRIVATELY that a movie of their's sucks. So there. FUck yaz all.

Yours truly,
JimmyD


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