You know, there's been a few times I've written about some stuff that had me worried: High-flying snakes and low-hanging nutsacks come immediately to mind. But now, thanks to my good friend Dave Cummings, I REALLY got some shit to be concerned about.

I've recently posted some articles about Bryan Sullivan. You know who Bryan is--he's the porn biz's favorite internet terrorist. And you might also know that as a result of Bryan's zeal in sharing his innermost thoughts about porn and pornstars, he's been indicted in 21 counts of alleged law-breaking for his electronic spewings. But Bryan Sullivan persists, 21 counts or no 21 counts. And since I'm in Bryan's address book, I'm also on the receiving end of the socio-religious anthrax he mails out.

You might also know that Dave Cummings has been involved in the 'Stop Bryan Sullivan' campaign. And as such, Dave has had some dealings with the FBI; more specifically, the Special Agent who caught the lucky assignment of dealing with the likes of Mr. Sullivan. So when Dave sees my postings that include some love-letters to me from Bryan, what does he do? He sends a copy of my articles, and the URL pointing to my website, to the FBI's Special Agent who heads the Bryan Sullivan task force. (Granted, it's probably a task force of one, but damn, we're talking the fucking FBI here.)

So now I have the FBI checking out simplyjimmyd.com! I don't know about you, but I'd rather deal with high-flying snakes or low-hanging nutsacks. I just watched some program the other night about the secret files of J. Edgar Hoover. Whether the FBI currently has a cross-dressing fag who enjoys violating the rights of privacy of almost anyone who draws his attention is in charge or not, it still heightened my general state of paranoia. And in this heightened paranoid state, what do I suddenly discover? That Dave Cummings has pointed the FBI directly at my website.

Thanks Dave. If I suddenly start noticing a couple of guys wearing gray suits and dark glasses sitting in a non-descript Ford sedan parked in front of my home or office, I'm holding you personally responsible. If I'm ever subpoenaed and have to travel to Washington to defend myself and my retarded musings on this site in front of a congressional committee I'm holding you personally responsible. If the next time I watch anything about the secret files of the FBI and I'm one of the secret files, I'm holding you personally responsible.

I'd also like to take this time to make a few personal statements to any guys wearing gray suits and dark glasses who happen to be reading this website thanks to my good friend Dave Cummings:

1. Whatever it is, I didn't do it, I wasn't there, and I know nothing about it.

2. I had nothing to do with the production of a videotaped program that claims J. Edgar Hoover was a cross-dressing fag--I simply accidentally viewed it. Personally, I think J. Edgar was a great guy who was misunderstood and as a result, history has been unkind to him.

3. I'm a big fan of Efrem Zimbalist Jr., and watched every episode of "The FBI" tv show.

4. The tv show, "The X Files," is pure fiction and no such files exist within the records of the FBI.

5. I don't subscribe to any conspiracy theory that involves the FBI in any way, or in any cover-up, that involves the death, dissapearance, or attack on the likes of JFK, RFK, Marilyn Monroe, Jimmy Hoffa, Larry Flynt, or anyone else.

6. I'm not a follower of Islam, I don't know any followers of Islam, and the only people from the Middle-East I've ever met are insignificant, unimportant, apolitical Israelis in the jiz biz.



"

Gigi Appleton, the Grand, High, Exalted, Mystic Princess of Avalon, checks in for the first time in months. I guess because it's the first time in months she's read anything on this site that's even remotely interested her. Oh well. Such is the way with Grand, High, Exalted, Mystic Princesses.

Gigi writes:

Hey JimmyD!

Happy Holidays to you and all of your readers!!!!!!

I try never to do what I am about to do BUT I am compelled...... I do not know Tera or her beau, Evan. I do know Adella and especially Samantha at DP. These are wonderful professional ladies and believe me that is alot in this biz. I know nothing of Tera's contract so why am I throwing in my bullshit opinion? Wellllll, I guess sometimes you have to speak about the people in our business who are stand-up and do have integrity and ethics. Samantha is such a one.

It may only assuage my feelings for saying this but perhaps Tera should take a deep sigh and remember what has been done for her in the past. It is so easy to instantly criticize and denigrate. This is simply not fair to DP.

Samantha, hang in there!!!!! Gigi Appleton

P.S. Samantha has always been there for me when she surely had no vested interest with kindness and concern . I CANNOT believe her contract girl cannot say the same.


jimmyD sez: Ya gotta love Gigi! I mean, how many other people would or could use a sexy word like 'assuage?' And with such literary agility?


"

I received this pic in an email late last night. It claims to be a photo of fave porn terrorist, Bryan Sullivan.

I doubt its authenticity and I'm sure it's a fraud. In my opinion, the real Mr. Sullivan wouldn't be caught dead sending out a photograph of himself wearing eyeglasses.

This could, however, be a photo an actual J. Edgar Hoover impressionist.



"

Sometimes you're surfing the net and you stumble across some stuff you find mildly amusing and you want to share. This is one of those times--I don't really know why.

By the way, is it just me, or could these pics almost pass for Tod Hunter engaged in some semi-kinky sex?
"

Sometimes I just get in these asshole moods where I want to talk, or more accurately, write some shit. Any of you feel that way sometimes? Sure you do. We have more than our share of shit-talkers and shit-writers in this biz, and that's how I know many of you like talking and/or writing shit too.

So I think I'm going to write some shit about AVNinsider.com. Well, not exactly about the website per se, but more about the contributing writers. Let me correct that one too: I'm not really writing shit about AVNinsider.com, or all of it's contributing writers, I'm going to narrow my shit-writing down to the non-contributing writers. You know which ones you are. You're the ones who obviously like seeing your mug on that page, but don't actually contribute anything, at least not for months and months and months.

Don't get me wrong, I know it takes some work to sit down and write this crap. Not to mention you might have to think a little too. Hey, that's what I'm doing right now. At least, the writing part because afer all, I am writing shit and writing shit--like talking shit--doesn't usually require much thinking. Now I know you guys don't get paid to write shit for AVNinsider, but then, neither do I--I mean, I don't get paid to write any of this shit for my site, just like you don't get paid to write for them. I'm not bitching about that. It's my choice. If I want to take time out of my schedule to write--for free--that's my business. And same goes for you. Which is why I guess you don't write. And you know who "you" are--you're the ones down at the bottom of the page who haven't written for months and months. Why AVN keeps your faces on there like your some kind of active 'contributing writers' is beyond my realm of comprehension. But then, and I've said this before, it's a pretty small realm, so what the fuck do I know?

There's probably not too many of you who have anything to say that anyone reading would really give a shit about anyway. Maybe that's why you don't write anything. Maybe you already know that. And just so you know that I don't think I'm so fucking special as a writer, the naked fucking truth is I don't really think anyone gives a shit about any of the shit I write about either. And that's ok, because I don't really give a shit if anyone who reads me gives a shit if that kind of shit makes any sense.

But I'd be lying if I didn't say that it kind of annoys me to look at your collective head-shots every time I log onto that site--knowing that you don't really contribute jack-shit. I'm always thinking, "What the fuck's with this?" I guess maybe AVNinsider just needs to fill space on the page.

Maybe I'm being unfair here. Maybe there's good and just reasons for some of you contributing writers to not contribute. Take Lex Steel, dude's got got a lot of women to fuck with that big slab of beef hung between his legs. I guess if I was more like Lex--with tons of women to fuck on a regular basis instead of home jerking off--I wouldn't have much time to contribute anything other than my DNA either.

And Chris Mann? He's no doubt a busy guy. He's got that company to run. And since his first and only article dealt with his internal struggle to shill or not to shill for Video Team, I guess he's still struggling.

I don't know what's with Sydnee Steele. I suppose the exciting life of a porn contract star doesn't leave much time for anything else. I mean, she's got the gym to go to, the hair stylist, the cosmetic counter at any of a number of high-end department stores, clothes buying, fan mail, and probably a whole lot of stuff I haven't even thought of like the signings, the movies, the appearances. Shit, if my life was like that, I wouldnt' have time to write either. Of course, if my life included a cosmetic counter, it would make me a queer, but let's not go there.

The girls of Las Vegas Novelties haven't been too prolific from a writing point of view either. But then, most of them probably have the same sort of problems Sydnee does.

Al Borda and Max Hardcore don't contribute too frequently, but I guess that's a good thing. So I don't want to say anything that might cause them to change their M.O. and start writing.

Michael Raven is probably too busy working out all that religious angst he's got. Either that, or he's too busy enjoying Julia Ann, (I'm assuming she's still his main squeeze), and I guess if I had to choose between the "sword and the pen" and Julia Ann's charms, well, I think the legal term is 'no lo contesto.'

I guess that covers about half the contributing writers and I suppose that's really not too bad. In baseball, batting .500 is fucking incredible! So maybe AVNinsider isn't doing as bad with its writers as I'm making out.

Again, what the fuck do I know?


"

"

"

I received an annonymous tip this morning which claims Slain Wayne's domicile was the target of vandalism last night. The tipster claims that a videotape is available which purportedly records the act. The unknown tipster claims I will be given a copy of this video, delivered by secret messenger, by the end of today.

My efforts to reach Slain Wayne for comment have been unsuccessful. I did speak with Irving Greenberg of the L.A.A.R.W.C.G (Los Angeles Anti-Right Wing Christian Graffiti task force). You might recall that Greenberg was the city official I spoke with after the Sin City graffitti incident. I asked Greenberg if he thought this alleged attack on Slain Wayne's home and the Sin City vandalism were in any way related. Again, as before, Greenberg told me that Right-Wing Christian tagging is on the rise in Los Angeles, but this is the first he'd heard of any other sort of vandalism being committed against pornographers, and in the name of Jesus Christ.

Greenberg then wanted to know who the porn star is with the Hebrew letters tattoed on her back. I told him her name is Cherie. Greenberg admitted that everytime he sees those Hebrew letters on her back while she's being pummeled by a large cock, he can't help but thinking thoughts like a Sodomite. Apparently, Greenberg believes that confession cleanses the soul, and he jumped at the opportunity to go public with his impure and inappropriate old testatment-related thoughts.

By the way, at this time there's no suspician whatsoever that Sin City's PR guy, Scott Stein, has anything to do with the vandalism (as was suspected in the Sin City case). I called to ask Scott--straight up--if he was involved. Scott responded, "Now I got my fucking hands full with this Skeeter psychopath. You think I need more trouble?"

As of this writing I've still not received the video. But if and when I do, you can be assured it will be streaming via this site for all of you to see.
"