I hope my spellcheck works ok because I can barely see!

AVN Senior Editor Mark Kernes wrote a nice piece on AVNInsider.com about the DigitalG/Adam&Eve/Scarlet Tower shoot at the Mondrian Hotel that I participated in a number of weeks ago. I wrote up a little piece about it as well and it's right HERE if you want your memory refreshed.

In his article, which you should check out in order to be the kind of knowledgeable-about-the-jizz-bizz person I know you want to be, Mark refered to me as "veteran director/cameraman Jim DiGiorgio." He also noted the shoot was "...ably lensed by..." well, your's truly. And to really make my head swell, Mark said that I "...did a masterful job considering the confines of the Le Mondrian's snug hotel rooms," All statements I can't argue with no matter how hard I try.

So what's all this got to do with my eyes? Well, Mark also included some of his famous 3-D shots he took at the shoot. Under each shot, Mark advises readers to "Relax your eyes, let them cross, and watch." This, of course, is how--according to Mark-- one will be able to see the pics in 3-D.

I spent about a half hour relaxing my eyes and crossing them and now I'm nearly fucking blind! I have to keep working at keeping my eyes unrelaxed and uncrossed. They keep involuntarily relaxing and crossing and to add insult to injury, nothing's in fucking 3-D! Not Mark's pictures, not anything else I look at! I do, however, keep lapsing into a state of double-vision, and if I can figure out something positive about that condition I'll be sure to thank Mark.

So let this be a warning to all of you: If you go and read Mark's article and then you click on the pictures to have a look at them, do not, I repeat DO NOT relax and cross your eyes. This technique will be like a blight on your eyes! Instead, I suggest you squint at them! View them by looking at them with a mirror! Put one hand over one eye and look at them that way. Just don't--whatever you do--relax and cross your freakin' eyes for any sustained period of time.

Now I've got to find a mailing address for Mark so I can send him the eye doctor's bills I know I'm going to have to shell out for.



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