November 18, 2006

Mister Softie Releases a Press Release

I suck at posting press releases. It’s not that I don’t know how, it’s just that, for the most part, I don’t… post them, that is.

I have a number of reasons for being mostly disinterested in posting press releases. At the top of my list is that they are, all too often, full of shit. While I’m not saying the following press release is guilty or innocent of being full of shit, I’m gonna make an exception for my buddy, Steve Seidman, a.k.a., Mister Softie, and post his informational babble. If you’re wondering why I’m making this exception you ‘ll just have to keep wondering.

Here’s Steve’s PR:

Press Release: (HOUSTON, TEXAS)


Adult Quest Magazine and Risqué Business are proud to announce Wicked Pictures and Jessica Drake as the Presenting Sponsor of their First Annual Lone Star Pornutopia Weekend and Purgatory Pajama Party. Wicked Pictures, based in California is one of the top XXX companies in the country and an Industry leader. “We are very happy to have them as our Title Sponsor and look forward to working with the professionals that are part of the Wicked team” stated Adult Quest President, John Gray. “I’m sure with Jessica and Quest working together this will be a great event that you don’t want to miss,” replied Wicked Pictures, Steve Orenstein.

Wicked Contract Girl and Texas native Jessica Drake will not only host the Weekend ending with the Purgatory Pajama Party with one lucky Lone star lady winning a complimentary breast augmentation, while other lucky ladies will win $1500.00 in cash. Jessica has also been announced as a Title Sponsor of the event. Jessica Drake said “I’m so excited to be the title sponsor and host of the first annual Lone Star Pornutopia in Houston, Texas! I’m from Texas originally, so I love to be “home on the range”! With my busy schedule, I don’t get back there often enough, but when I do, it’s crazy! It’ll be a lot of fun, and I can’t wait for the Pajama Purgatory Party. The winner from the evening gets a special surprise from me, too… an autographed copy of Wicked’s biggest movie of the year- MANHUNTERS- starring yours truly!”

Lone Star Pornutopia weekend will consist of Four Gigantic and Sexy Events……Starting with the opening night Pornstar Karaoke held at Encounters Nightclub on Wednesday November 29 where the general public will be able to sing their favorite songs along with the over 30 XXX Stars and Starlets that will be in attendance.

The Adult Expo, a first of its kind held in the Houston area, will be at The Ramada Plaza Hotel located just two blocks from Hobby Airport at 8611 Airport Blvd. All XXX fans will get to meet their favorite Stars up close and personal and check out the latest in Adult fashions and novelties from 4:00 pm to 8:00 pm on Thursday November 30 and December 1st.
The Club Hop will follow the Expo each night with five Houston Cabarets on the schedule and fans will get to see some of the hottest names in the Industry dance topless along with some of the top Feature Entertainers in the world perform like the 2005 Exotic Dancer Entertainer of the Year, Jade Simone St. Clair dazzle you with their talents. Also the World Famous Scandalous Duo Act will return to Houston after a five year absence. Ron Jeremy will be on hand to do his famous comedy act. You won’t want to miss these performances. The five clubs will be Ricks North, Covergirls, and Splendor on Thursday night and Ritz and Hottyz on Friday Night.

On Thursday RICKS NORTH located at 410 N. Sam Houston Pkwy, will host 15 Stars from 9pm till 11pm and COVERGIRLS will host the other 15 Stars at 10310 West Little York Road, during the same time slots. Then at 11:30 pm the Club Hop Caravan will flip flop as the first group of Stars at RICKS NORTH makes their way to SPLENDOR CABARET while the group at COVERGIRLS head to RICKS NORTH. Friday nights club Hop will be similar to Thursdays festivities but the venues will change and they will be THE RITZ located at 10520 Gulf Fwy just blocks from the headquarter hotel Ramada Plaza and the other venue will be HOTTYZ, which is on 9870 Westpark.

The weekend ending party should be the Purgatory Pajama Party at the Ramada Plaza. It’s a pajama party so come dressed as you would if going to bed, but better yet check in at the Ramada and not have to worry about a thing. Everyone in attendance will receive $10,000.00 in Wicked Bucks to tip their favorite Star or local entertainer. All ladies are urged to bring their creative minds for this event. Exit Reality…..Enter Fantasy!!!!!!!
“One weekend… mannnyyyy Temptations” stated Steve Seidman, editor of Adult Quest and Risqué. ”

For more information log on to or

For press information and attendance call Steve Seidman at 713-785-8684 or e-mail at [email protected]

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November 16, 2006

Playing With Aaralyn Bara

Had a fun day yesterday shooting Aaralyn Bara for an upcoming volume of Anarchy’s top-selling interactive “Playing With…” line.

I had shot Aaralyn before and knew her to be a peach on the set. Yesterday was no different: She arrived on time with a great attitude and didn’t once engage in any Diva crap.

I’ve been shooting this line for Anarchy for about three years now. It’s been nominated each year for “Best Interactive.” The debut for the series featured Ariana Jolee and received a nom. The latest nom is for “Playing with Roxy Jezel.” I think I’ve shot and directed between thirty and forty volumes for the series. I must be doing something right: it keeps selling well (even in a crowded marketplace) and Anarchy keeps hiring me to shoot the show.

Anyone’s who has worked with me knows I try to keep my sets upbeat and fun. This is porn. The fate of the known universe doesn’t revolve around what we do on porn sets. Directors who yell, scream, and carry-on like maniacs on porn sets are twits. What the fuck’s that all about? Get over yourselves. We’re shooting people sucking and fucking here–sometimes with a story to go with it, more often without–so what’s the big fucking deal? You should be kissing someone’s ass to get paid to make porn. It ain’t rocket science and it ain’t (real) filmmaking. It’s porn. I don’t say that to denigrate the process of creating decent porn. It does take certain skills to do it well. But they don’t offer Ph.D.’s in Adult Entertainment and my guess is they never will.

Look for “Playing With Aaralyn Bara” coming to a rental store or online retailer soon. It includes plenty of sexy content and viewers get to see what they want to see when they want to see it. That’s what interactive’s all about.

Okay, I’m done kissing one of my employers’ asses. Hopefully, in my next update, I’ll go back to being a jaded observer and commentator of this thing we do.

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November 14, 2006

An Emotional Time for Porn Folk

Nominees for the 24th Annual AVN Awards were released today. You can view all 118 categories and the (somewhere around) one-thousand nominees by clicking HERE.

I’m guessing there’s some happy folks, as well as some fairly pissed-off folks, in porn valley tonight. Nothing seems to rouse the emotions of pornographers like the AVN Awards nominations list. I know there’s some civilians out there who think porners are lacking in the ability to demonstrate real and honest emotion. They are so wrong! Porn people are an emotional lot. And while we have more than our fair share of sociopaths–a completely different psychological malady–within our ranks, we have no shortage of emotionally-driven personalities.

By the way, in response to what I wrote yesterday about the AVN Awards, Mike South emailed me to put his two-cents in regarding what I had to say about the value of AVN Awards.

Mike writes: “As to the “worth” of an AVN Award.

I have won twice, been nominated I don’t know how many time times and I can honestly say that the value to me, was nothing beyond personal. It’s fun to taunt a new guy with the fact that I am a multi AVN Award winner and it is a nice pat on the back…but for me it has had no monetary value at all.

Winning one feels good and its kinda cool to have em to show off but aside from playing whip out with it…..well its worth is simply something of value to my ego…”

After reading Mike’s email, why do I have this image of Mike unbuckling his jeans, pulling down his fly, and whipping-out his AVN Award? Must be something about the style of his prose.

Anyway, back to my ruminations about the awards…

After looking through all the categories and Evelyn Wood speed-reading through the voluminous lists of nominees–and yeah, something I did got nominated: Playing with Roxy Jezel from Anarchy, which I shot and directed, is nominated for Best InteractiveI realized there’s a missing category. While you might be thinking, “Jimmy! How could they miss a category when they have 118 of them?” But they are missing one– There’s no category to honor photographers.

C’mon people! Hello??? Photographers! You know, those people who shoot the timeless images that are the foundation of a product’s artwork and fill the pages of smutty magazines and are the cornerstone of soft and hard porn websites. Where’s there a category for photographers? You people want to try and sell your products without photographs? Lotsa luck! In fact, photography is one of the most important aspects of selling porn. And recently, really good photography has become even more important as the cover-artwork for DVDs has gotten softer and softer! You might get away with a photograhically-crappy image of some beat-up looking pornstar with twelve dicks stuffed into her but, if you’re going to sell your product with a sexy, glamourous, soft-core image, that image better be pretty good!

I fully expect the powers that be will read this, take it to heart and, by next year, will add a category for those (still, as of this time) unsung heroes of porn! (Of which I happen to be one.)

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November 13, 2006

Is an AVN Award in Your Future?

It’s that time of year again– When the leaves fall off the trees, the days become really short, and AVN releases their list of this year’s award hopefuls.

I lost count of the number of award categories some years back. But there’s a lot of categories, that’s for sure. There’s so many categories one would think it might be difficult not to get nominated. Of course, that assuming you’re not thinking about those nearly fourteen-thousand releases that came out this past year. With 14,000 releases, someone’s not gonna get nominated in spite of how many categories there might be and how many nominations AVN will allow in each category. Perhaps those 14,000 skin flicks released will take the sting out of not being nominated for some: “I would have gotten a nom but there were just too many movies released in my categories.”

Hello??? Mister Porn-Potato Head! Here’s some 4-1-1 for ya: However unlikely, I suppose it is possible you didn’t get a nom because there’s so much porn in your categories. But it’s also possible you didn’t make any money off it for the very same reason.

Of course, there’s a dark side to nominations and (shudder) actually winning in a category. Porn’s awards aren’t like the real Hollywood’s awards where Oscars or Emmys equate to money in people’s pockets. In fact, our little porn Oscars can be a curse. I’ve heard of more than a few from the “Best Porn Star” (or whatever it’s called) category claiming they didn’t get much work after winning. “Everyone assumed I jacked up my rates cuz I won,” is an oft-heard complaint.

Is it logical to assume that “Best Whatever” winners will jack their rates up? In the real world of entertainment, it might be that way. In porn, however, logic usually takes a backseat to many other factors. In fact, logic is often stowed in the trunk.
I remember once listening to a company owner explain to me why he wasn’t giving me the gig to direct some movie and why he gave it to someone else.

“He was nomintated for Best Director two years ago,” the company owner smugly explained.

“So was I,” I responded.

“Yeah, but he almost won,” the owner told me.

“Oh,” I said. “I didn’t know that.” (And, of course, neither did the company owner.)

So how important is it to get nominated for one of these awards or to actually win one of them?

I don’t know.

My gut tells me it’s not… all that important, that is, and becoming less important each year.  My gut also tells me there’s as good a chance that an award may not put any money in one’s pocket.

Oh! But I forgot! So many of us aren’t doing this for the money. Some of us are artists and only making porn for the artistic satisfaction of doing so.

I guess I’ll just leave this subject by saying, “Good luck!” to all you soon-to-be-nominated porn artists and performers. I wish you all the best. And if you win one of those awards, don’t spend it all in one place.

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November 9, 2006

The Rise and Fall of the Porno Empire

Just so people don’t think it’s only me who’s publicly ruminating about our industry’s rapidly declining health, here’s an email I received this morning from one of those people we hear too little from in these matters: An actual porn consumer. I won’t comment on his letter other than to say I’m guessing it might reflect the attitudes of many porn consumers.

Hey Jimmy,

I read your most recent posts on the demise of the adult business. I can assure you that the feeling’s mutual from a consumer standpoint!

A friend of mine who has a nice video store admits it’s getting much harder for him to make a living because of the internet. I can understand this, because the market is saturated with titles and he won’t make money unless the titles he buys rent six times. As revenues are now lower due to the internet, he must now be more careful about what he buys. No more Ed Powers titles and Vivid titles, they don’t rent six times! Problem is, I still watch that shit because I like Monique Alexander and Ed Powers still has new chicks.

In the old days, fewer titles came out daily, now it seems that everybody that can buy a digital camcorder can start a production company. So what do you buy if you’re a store owner?

In today’s adult world, the same talent appears in every movie that comes out for a few months. What if none of those women appeal to your personal taste? I’m not renting much now because none of the talent appeals to my tastes.

I’m starting to rely more and more on my accumulated collection of pornography and less and less on the new releases. It’s all about competitive forces shaking out the riff-raff from my standpoint, nobody seems to show the women I want to see…

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November 8, 2006

Will the “Shakeout” Begin With Its Prognosticator?

I keep hearing about companies choosing not to exhibit at this year’s upcoming AVN Adult Expo. I don’t have access to the “numbers” but, from a purely observational point-of-view, it seems to me the business (i.e., those who produce its products) ain’t the only thing on decline. A good many of these companies who are choosing not to participate are notable and well-known. That’s not to say these folks won’t be going to Vegas in January: They simply won’t be spending their declining revenues on exhibitor space.

Of course, most of these company’s representatives will be walking the show-floor and glad-handing buyers and others. They’ll also be doing business in hotel suites where they’ll showcase and hawk their latest and greatest, keep a stable of porn babes on hand, push show-deals, and prep buyers for upcoming releases. So, business will take place. But it might not line the pockets of Adult Expo’s producers to the extent it once did.

It’s not all gloom-and-doom for the jizz biz. Let’s look on the good side of things: The Republicans experienced, in the words of our fearless leader this morning, “a thumpin’” in yesterday’s mid-term elections. Ya gotta love that! Hopefully, the trend will continue and, in two years, the neo-cons will be bounced out on their ears.

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October 30, 2006

The Late Great Porn Industry

If you work in the biz and you didn’t notice that 2006 sucked in ways that I’ve certainly not seen in the years I’ve been working in this industry, you’re either in denial (no, I don’t mean you’re swimming or drowning in a river in Egypt) or you’re not paying attention.

I’m not trying to sound like a doom-and-gloom-sayer but, personally, I think 2006 will be remembered as the year the traditional porn industry went South for many. At least, in terms of the way business has been done since I fist enlisted in porn’s army. With something like 13,000 releases during the year, as opposed to half that ten years ago and one-tenth of that 20 years ago, the glut of product has put wholesale prices in the toilet and collecting that money has, for many porntrepeneurs, been slow and difficult. Also, there was no bright side in foreign sales.

So where’s the business going? Futher into the toilet? For some, I’d say yes. For others, I don’t know. For a few, porn will remain a rewarding, money-making enterprise.

When I first began writing about this summer’s unprecedented production slow-down, some people claimed I was wrong. I didn’t think I was wrong then and I still don’t think I was wrong. The hoped-for return to normal production schedules hasn’t yet happened and I don’t think it will. Not after hearing what I’m hearing from people who attended the Berlin show.

“Why shoot?” a company owner was asked in Berlin. “You have a library of hundreds of titles. You can make more money not shooting and exploiting that content in new ways.” In other words, DVD revenues aren’t just stagnant, they’re on their deathbeds.

Think about it. The content in one movie can be cut into many, many 30 second clips and those clips can make some decent money licensed to the newest delivery technologies… you know, like mobil technologies. Now multiply that by hundreds of movies. Indeed, why shoot? Especially if you don’t have something really special going on with your productions or in your sales and marketing arsenal.

I read somewhere that AVN is predicting a shake-out in the industry. I think that shake-out is well underway. The days of simply putting shit on a DVD with some half-decent artwork on the outside of the packaging are over or soon will be. Ponrtrepeneurs are going to have to become cagier, more imaginative and technology-savvy, if they hope to survive. If the trend of less available cash in the production pool continues, it will eventually translate into lower performer rates and fewer quality performers coming into the business. Quality products with an eye towards the latest technologies will  be the most important part of a successful business plan. Yeah, sex sells and it always will sell. But it’s become harder to sell because so many are selling it. I don’t have a crystal ball and I can’t predict the future but my gut feel is that changes are a’comin! Big changes! And it will come in negative ways for more than a few.

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October 25, 2006

World Modeling– RIP

According to the real Luke Ford, World Modeling will soon be no more. The news represents the end of an era although, in my opinion, World Modeling’s era ended some time ago.

I always liked Jim South. We butted heads — butted them hard — but, for me, it was never personal. Our head-butting resulted in us terminating our working relationship. That happened in the late nineties. Before that, I routinely used Jim’s girls and, for years, I paid thousands and thousands in agency fees to him. That was back when producers and directors paid a flat fee of $65 for every cast member that was signed up with Jim. That included almost every performer in the business except those few who were signed with Reb or with a couple of rogue, suitcase pimps.

I used to go to World’s offices about once a week and look through the polaroids of the new girls. There were codes on the info sheets that gave you a pretty good idea of what the new, aspiring, porn stars would and wouldn’t do. There were also girls hanging around World’s offices and lounging on the couches daily. These girls were either actively looking for work or just  hanging out at World, killing time between gigs. Just about every day, Jim led a porn posse up the steet to Hamburger Hamlet for lunch; I’m guessing that’s a tradition that continues to this day.

My non-relationship continued with World until I made a movie for VCA called The Sopornos. I wrote, shot, directed, and edited that movie and it did pretty good for VCA. Some said it did better than “pretty good.” It was also, according to Russ Hampshire, VCA’s then owner, the first movie in two or three years, including in-house-produced movies, to pass VCA’s tough QC on the first pass. That was enough for Russ to decide Rob Spallone (who was my partner and producer at the time) and I would be making more movies for VCA. Russ stepped in and attempted to mend the rifts that existed between both Jim and myself, as well as Rob and Jim South who had their own, tumultuous past. As a result of that meeting, Rob and Jim became good buddies. As a non-result, there was no meaningful improvement in terms of my business relationship with Jim. (Note: Since I wasn’t a fly on the wall when Russ met with Jim regarding these matters, I have no idea what was or wasn’t discussed in terms of my non-relationship with Jim. I only know what resulted, or should I say, “did not result,” as it pertained to me.)

Still, I feel a twinge of melancholy hearing that World Modeling will be no more. So much has changed in the world of smut since the late-nineties. It’s not the same business any longer. It no longer has a family feel to it and hasn’t for quite a while.

In my opinion, World didn’t keep up with the times. Jim tried to keep doing business much the way he always did business and it simply didn’t work. I’m guessing Jim hoped his long-standing relationships, coupled with loyalties from friends and associates, would keep World on top. I’m also guessing that was poor judgement on Jim’s part. Yeah, there was a time when loyalty meant something in this business. But that was then and this is now. I’m not saying loyalty counts for nothing. I’ve counted on a few friends and business associates who have been loyal to me. And they have been loyal just as I’ve shown loyalty to them. You know who you are. But those people are few and far between. There’s certainly not enough of them these days to keep anyone’s business afloat.

Good luck, Jim South, with whatever you do. I hope your 31 years in the jizz biz was rewarding enough to allow you to comfortably ride off into the sunset. Maybe you could buy a house in Hawaii, play poker with the natives, and trade gardening tips with Russ?

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October 24, 2006

The Great American Leper Colony

First off, let me unequivocally state that what I’m about to write is NOT an attempt to put down, razz, taunt, or show any sort of contempt for the porn biz. I’m a member of the club — hopefully, in good standing — and I’m simply thinking out loud here… cyber-loud.

For the last few years, porn pundits, as well as many pornographers themselves, have used almost any opportunity to shill this concept of the Mainstreaming of Porn. I’ve been guilty of it myself on more than a few occasions. Personally, I think it’s a load of crap. Just because porn now receives a lot of never-seen-before exposure through traditonal mainstream outlets doesn’t mean that porn itself has become mainstream. To the vast majority of people in the world, pornographers are like social lepers, freaks, and carnies, and that hasn’t changed. And for many of those civilians out there who are aware that an awful lot of porn is created and shipped from the San Fernando Valley’s West-side, the West SFV looks to them like one, big, porn-leper colony.

The real question is, is that a bad thing? Again, personally, I don’t think so. In fact, I think it’s a good thing and it’s what has made porn more popular than ever before. The more the public is told by their so-called Moral Leaders to avoid porn, the more they want to experience it. Yep, people want to experience what they’re told they should shun and avoid. That’s human nature. If and when porn ever becomes truly mainstreamed I’m guessing many of us are out of a job. On the flipside, if the government passed some total porn-prohibition legislation, porn might be back to selling for ten or twenty times what it sells for now, just like it did back in the day.

I’ll use actual lepers as an example since I’ve already done so metaphorically: If I were to make and distribute a product called “Faces of Leprosy,” there’s a good chance it would sell and sell pretty well in spite of the disgusting imagery it would contain! Remember that gruesome series of videos called Faces of Death? It didn’t do too shabby in the marketplace. Again, it’s about people being drawn to things that their moral conscience tells them they should avoid. I think that explains why so many practicing Christians, including pastors and such, are drawn to porn. I’m sure this concept also applies to those people looking for kinkier and kinkier stuff on the web — possibly illegal content — to satisfy their craving for the unusual and bizarre even when that content might be gross and disgusting to experience. With that kind of stuff — the harder and possibly illegal stuff — people are like moths drawn to the flame. And, for those who purvey that sort of content, I suppose that’s a good thing for them… commercially speaking.

Another human trait is the need to be accepted and to command respect. That’s what drives so many pornographers to embrace this Mainstreaming of Porn concept. “I’m not a smut peddler, I’m an adult film distributor.” Again, I’m guilty of this myself.

But there’s a real dichotomy going on here, especially between attitudes and actions: On one hand, pornographers want to be perceived and accepted as providers of a legitimate entertainment genre. On the other hand, they continually and determinedly quest to produce content that comes as close to illegitimacy as possible. (Short of going to jail.)

So don’t be misled by porn pundits into believing John Q. Public is accepting us as legitimate, mainstream, entertainment. Thankfully, they’re not. And they’re completely aware that we are, still, a bunch of dysfunctional, social misfits. That’s why most of the public condemns us to social-leper status. It’s also why they buy our products in record numbers and why the real mainstream people are giving us more exposure than ever before. When it comes to those “real mainstream” people, however, don’t confuse exposure with acceptance.

Okay. I’m done thinking out loud here. If you’re still reading, thanks for your patience whether you agree with me or think I’m totally out to lunch.

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October 23, 2006

More Internet Scams

Internet scams seem to be migrating from places like Nigeria to places like the U.K.

Probably most people have received emails from supposed lawyers and others in Africa advising you that some large amount of money awaits you  in Africa. Now, it seems, many of these scams are about bogus paper and they’re coming from Europe.

Here’s one I received today:

Dear SIR/MA,

Would you like to work online from home and get paid weekly? MILLER TEXTILES needs a book-keeper in the states, so I want to know if you will like to work online from home and get paid weekly without leaving or affecting your present job? It’s just that I presently run a textile and fabrics firm I inherited from my late Dad in the UK and we need someone to work for the company as a representative/book keeper in the states.

My company produces various clothing materials, batiks, assorted fabrics and traditional costume which we have clients we supply weekly in the states.

My clients make payments for our supplies every week in form of Money Orders, which are not readily cashable outside the United States, So we need someone in the States to work as our representative and assist us in processing the payments from our clients and we will pay him/her wage.


Our payments will be issued out in your name and you get them cashed in your bank. Deduct your weekly salary and forward the balance to the company via Western union money transfer.


Here’s what’s going to a happen if you sign up for this deal: You’ll be cashing or depositing bogus paper in the form of checks or whatever with your bank where you have a good relationship. You’ll get credited with the money or take the cash. Down the road, the bank will figure out the paper was bogus and you’ll be on the hook for the amounts you cashed or deposited– that includes what you kept for your “salary” and what you sent back to them. By the way, many of these latest scams are a result of postings you might make on sites like Craigslist.

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