November 26, 2006

Jesus Loves Porn Stars?

Lately, if you’re a regular reader of LukeIsBack, you might have come to believe there’s the beginning of some kind of exodus, by porn chicks, from porn to Jesus. I don’t think so! I’d hardly call a half-dozen or so porn chicks suddenly finding religion much of an exodus.

But if I can offer a smidgen of advice to these girls–and I know I’m probably the last guy they need advice from, spiritual or otherwise–here it is: Before (or while) you girls go off finding Jesus you also might want to think about finding a job.

While I respect the beliefs of those who believe they’ve found solace bathing in the spiritual glow of their lord and saviour, you might find that Mr. J.H. Christ is more generous with love and forgiveness than he is with cold, hard, cash.

Some of you have been living a fairly charmed life for quite some time; financially charmed, that is. But in the real world, money won’t be growing on trees for you the way it has in porn. Well, maybe it hasn’t grown on trees, but it has certainly grown from the tree-limb-like appendages sprouting out of the groins of meatpuppets.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying any of you shouldn’t leave this business and find new lives. And I’m not saying you’re making a mistake by turning to the world of Christianity to guide you wherever your life is now going. I’m just saying that, throughout my life, it’s been my often-seen observation that prayers are rarely answered when it comes to things like financial matters. In fact, it’s also been my observation that, when it comes to prayers and money, the money mostly flows to the church and its professional practitioners before it makes its way, if ever, to the flock.

While I thoroughly agree with the notion that Jesus Loves Porn Stars, I’m not sure some of you girls have fully come to grips with the kind of love Christianity is talking about. Please note that it’s a kind of love that, most likely, won’t put any cash in your purses. Up till now, some of you have been all (or mostly) about money. And although most of the Christians I’ve known have also been mostly about money as well, that doesn’t mean you or they always come by it… i.e., with the help of Jesus.

If anyone is wondering what I’m saying here… I’m just saying. Capiche?

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November 18, 2006

Mister Softie Releases a Press Release

I suck at posting press releases. It’s not that I don’t know how, it’s just that, for the most part, I don’t… post them, that is.

I have a number of reasons for being mostly disinterested in posting press releases. At the top of my list is that they are, all too often, full of shit. While I’m not saying the following press release is guilty or innocent of being full of shit, I’m gonna make an exception for my buddy, Steve Seidman, a.k.a., Mister Softie, and post his informational babble. If you’re wondering why I’m making this exception you ‘ll just have to keep wondering.

Here’s Steve’s PR:

Press Release: (HOUSTON, TEXAS)


Adult Quest Magazine and Risqué Business are proud to announce Wicked Pictures and Jessica Drake as the Presenting Sponsor of their First Annual Lone Star Pornutopia Weekend and Purgatory Pajama Party. Wicked Pictures, based in California is one of the top XXX companies in the country and an Industry leader. “We are very happy to have them as our Title Sponsor and look forward to working with the professionals that are part of the Wicked team” stated Adult Quest President, John Gray. “I’m sure with Jessica and Quest working together this will be a great event that you don’t want to miss,” replied Wicked Pictures, Steve Orenstein.

Wicked Contract Girl and Texas native Jessica Drake will not only host the Weekend ending with the Purgatory Pajama Party with one lucky Lone star lady winning a complimentary breast augmentation, while other lucky ladies will win $1500.00 in cash. Jessica has also been announced as a Title Sponsor of the event. Jessica Drake said “I’m so excited to be the title sponsor and host of the first annual Lone Star Pornutopia in Houston, Texas! I’m from Texas originally, so I love to be “home on the range”! With my busy schedule, I don’t get back there often enough, but when I do, it’s crazy! It’ll be a lot of fun, and I can’t wait for the Pajama Purgatory Party. The winner from the evening gets a special surprise from me, too… an autographed copy of Wicked’s biggest movie of the year- MANHUNTERS- starring yours truly!”

Lone Star Pornutopia weekend will consist of Four Gigantic and Sexy Events……Starting with the opening night Pornstar Karaoke held at Encounters Nightclub on Wednesday November 29 where the general public will be able to sing their favorite songs along with the over 30 XXX Stars and Starlets that will be in attendance.

The Adult Expo, a first of its kind held in the Houston area, will be at The Ramada Plaza Hotel located just two blocks from Hobby Airport at 8611 Airport Blvd. All XXX fans will get to meet their favorite Stars up close and personal and check out the latest in Adult fashions and novelties from 4:00 pm to 8:00 pm on Thursday November 30 and December 1st.
The Club Hop will follow the Expo each night with five Houston Cabarets on the schedule and fans will get to see some of the hottest names in the Industry dance topless along with some of the top Feature Entertainers in the world perform like the 2005 Exotic Dancer Entertainer of the Year, Jade Simone St. Clair dazzle you with their talents. Also the World Famous Scandalous Duo Act will return to Houston after a five year absence. Ron Jeremy will be on hand to do his famous comedy act. You won’t want to miss these performances. The five clubs will be Ricks North, Covergirls, and Splendor on Thursday night and Ritz and Hottyz on Friday Night.

On Thursday RICKS NORTH located at 410 N. Sam Houston Pkwy, will host 15 Stars from 9pm till 11pm and COVERGIRLS will host the other 15 Stars at 10310 West Little York Road, during the same time slots. Then at 11:30 pm the Club Hop Caravan will flip flop as the first group of Stars at RICKS NORTH makes their way to SPLENDOR CABARET while the group at COVERGIRLS head to RICKS NORTH. Friday nights club Hop will be similar to Thursdays festivities but the venues will change and they will be THE RITZ located at 10520 Gulf Fwy just blocks from the headquarter hotel Ramada Plaza and the other venue will be HOTTYZ, which is on 9870 Westpark.

The weekend ending party should be the Purgatory Pajama Party at the Ramada Plaza. It’s a pajama party so come dressed as you would if going to bed, but better yet check in at the Ramada and not have to worry about a thing. Everyone in attendance will receive $10,000.00 in Wicked Bucks to tip their favorite Star or local entertainer. All ladies are urged to bring their creative minds for this event. Exit Reality…..Enter Fantasy!!!!!!!
“One weekend… mannnyyyy Temptations” stated Steve Seidman, editor of Adult Quest and Risqué. ”

For more information log on to or

For press information and attendance call Steve Seidman at 713-785-8684 or e-mail at [email protected]

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November 16, 2006

Playing With Aaralyn Bara

Had a fun day yesterday shooting Aaralyn Bara for an upcoming volume of Anarchy’s top-selling interactive “Playing With…” line.

I had shot Aaralyn before and knew her to be a peach on the set. Yesterday was no different: She arrived on time with a great attitude and didn’t once engage in any Diva crap.

I’ve been shooting this line for Anarchy for about three years now. It’s been nominated each year for “Best Interactive.” The debut for the series featured Ariana Jolee and received a nom. The latest nom is for “Playing with Roxy Jezel.” I think I’ve shot and directed between thirty and forty volumes for the series. I must be doing something right: it keeps selling well (even in a crowded marketplace) and Anarchy keeps hiring me to shoot the show.

Anyone’s who has worked with me knows I try to keep my sets upbeat and fun. This is porn. The fate of the known universe doesn’t revolve around what we do on porn sets. Directors who yell, scream, and carry-on like maniacs on porn sets are twits. What the fuck’s that all about? Get over yourselves. We’re shooting people sucking and fucking here–sometimes with a story to go with it, more often without–so what’s the big fucking deal? You should be kissing someone’s ass to get paid to make porn. It ain’t rocket science and it ain’t (real) filmmaking. It’s porn. I don’t say that to denigrate the process of creating decent porn. It does take certain skills to do it well. But they don’t offer Ph.D.’s in Adult Entertainment and my guess is they never will.

Look for “Playing With Aaralyn Bara” coming to a rental store or online retailer soon. It includes plenty of sexy content and viewers get to see what they want to see when they want to see it. That’s what interactive’s all about.

Okay, I’m done kissing one of my employers’ asses. Hopefully, in my next update, I’ll go back to being a jaded observer and commentator of this thing we do.

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November 14, 2006

An Emotional Time for Porn Folk

Nominees for the 24th Annual AVN Awards were released today. You can view all 118 categories and the (somewhere around) one-thousand nominees by clicking HERE.

I’m guessing there’s some happy folks, as well as some fairly pissed-off folks, in porn valley tonight. Nothing seems to rouse the emotions of pornographers like the AVN Awards nominations list. I know there’s some civilians out there who think porners are lacking in the ability to demonstrate real and honest emotion. They are so wrong! Porn people are an emotional lot. And while we have more than our fair share of sociopaths–a completely different psychological malady–within our ranks, we have no shortage of emotionally-driven personalities.

By the way, in response to what I wrote yesterday about the AVN Awards, Mike South emailed me to put his two-cents in regarding what I had to say about the value of AVN Awards.

Mike writes: “As to the “worth” of an AVN Award.

I have won twice, been nominated I don’t know how many time times and I can honestly say that the value to me, was nothing beyond personal. It’s fun to taunt a new guy with the fact that I am a multi AVN Award winner and it is a nice pat on the back…but for me it has had no monetary value at all.

Winning one feels good and its kinda cool to have em to show off but aside from playing whip out with it…..well its worth is simply something of value to my ego…”

After reading Mike’s email, why do I have this image of Mike unbuckling his jeans, pulling down his fly, and whipping-out his AVN Award? Must be something about the style of his prose.

Anyway, back to my ruminations about the awards…

After looking through all the categories and Evelyn Wood speed-reading through the voluminous lists of nominees–and yeah, something I did got nominated: Playing with Roxy Jezel from Anarchy, which I shot and directed, is nominated for Best InteractiveI realized there’s a missing category. While you might be thinking, “Jimmy! How could they miss a category when they have 118 of them?” But they are missing one– There’s no category to honor photographers.

C’mon people! Hello??? Photographers! You know, those people who shoot the timeless images that are the foundation of a product’s artwork and fill the pages of smutty magazines and are the cornerstone of soft and hard porn websites. Where’s there a category for photographers? You people want to try and sell your products without photographs? Lotsa luck! In fact, photography is one of the most important aspects of selling porn. And recently, really good photography has become even more important as the cover-artwork for DVDs has gotten softer and softer! You might get away with a photograhically-crappy image of some beat-up looking pornstar with twelve dicks stuffed into her but, if you’re going to sell your product with a sexy, glamourous, soft-core image, that image better be pretty good!

I fully expect the powers that be will read this, take it to heart and, by next year, will add a category for those (still, as of this time) unsung heroes of porn! (Of which I happen to be one.)

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November 13, 2006

Is an AVN Award in Your Future?

It’s that time of year again– When the leaves fall off the trees, the days become really short, and AVN releases their list of this year’s award hopefuls.

I lost count of the number of award categories some years back. But there’s a lot of categories, that’s for sure. There’s so many categories one would think it might be difficult not to get nominated. Of course, that assuming you’re not thinking about those nearly fourteen-thousand releases that came out this past year. With 14,000 releases, someone’s not gonna get nominated in spite of how many categories there might be and how many nominations AVN will allow in each category. Perhaps those 14,000 skin flicks released will take the sting out of not being nominated for some: “I would have gotten a nom but there were just too many movies released in my categories.”

Hello??? Mister Porn-Potato Head! Here’s some 4-1-1 for ya: However unlikely, I suppose it is possible you didn’t get a nom because there’s so much porn in your categories. But it’s also possible you didn’t make any money off it for the very same reason.

Of course, there’s a dark side to nominations and (shudder) actually winning in a category. Porn’s awards aren’t like the real Hollywood’s awards where Oscars or Emmys equate to money in people’s pockets. In fact, our little porn Oscars can be a curse. I’ve heard of more than a few from the “Best Porn Star” (or whatever it’s called) category claiming they didn’t get much work after winning. “Everyone assumed I jacked up my rates cuz I won,” is an oft-heard complaint.

Is it logical to assume that “Best Whatever” winners will jack their rates up? In the real world of entertainment, it might be that way. In porn, however, logic usually takes a backseat to many other factors. In fact, logic is often stowed in the trunk.
I remember once listening to a company owner explain to me why he wasn’t giving me the gig to direct some movie and why he gave it to someone else.

“He was nomintated for Best Director two years ago,” the company owner smugly explained.

“So was I,” I responded.

“Yeah, but he almost won,” the owner told me.

“Oh,” I said. “I didn’t know that.” (And, of course, neither did the company owner.)

So how important is it to get nominated for one of these awards or to actually win one of them?

I don’t know.

My gut tells me it’s not… all that important, that is, and becoming less important each year.  My gut also tells me there’s as good a chance that an award may not put any money in one’s pocket.

Oh! But I forgot! So many of us aren’t doing this for the money. Some of us are artists and only making porn for the artistic satisfaction of doing so.

I guess I’ll just leave this subject by saying, “Good luck!” to all you soon-to-be-nominated porn artists and performers. I wish you all the best. And if you win one of those awards, don’t spend it all in one place.

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November 9, 2006

The Rise and Fall of the Porno Empire

Just so people don’t think it’s only me who’s publicly ruminating about our industry’s rapidly declining health, here’s an email I received this morning from one of those people we hear too little from in these matters: An actual porn consumer. I won’t comment on his letter other than to say I’m guessing it might reflect the attitudes of many porn consumers.

Hey Jimmy,

I read your most recent posts on the demise of the adult business. I can assure you that the feeling’s mutual from a consumer standpoint!

A friend of mine who has a nice video store admits it’s getting much harder for him to make a living because of the internet. I can understand this, because the market is saturated with titles and he won’t make money unless the titles he buys rent six times. As revenues are now lower due to the internet, he must now be more careful about what he buys. No more Ed Powers titles and Vivid titles, they don’t rent six times! Problem is, I still watch that shit because I like Monique Alexander and Ed Powers still has new chicks.

In the old days, fewer titles came out daily, now it seems that everybody that can buy a digital camcorder can start a production company. So what do you buy if you’re a store owner?

In today’s adult world, the same talent appears in every movie that comes out for a few months. What if none of those women appeal to your personal taste? I’m not renting much now because none of the talent appeals to my tastes.

I’m starting to rely more and more on my accumulated collection of pornography and less and less on the new releases. It’s all about competitive forces shaking out the riff-raff from my standpoint, nobody seems to show the women I want to see…

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November 8, 2006

Will the “Shakeout” Begin With Its Prognosticator?

I keep hearing about companies choosing not to exhibit at this year’s upcoming AVN Adult Expo. I don’t have access to the “numbers” but, from a purely observational point-of-view, it seems to me the business (i.e., those who produce its products) ain’t the only thing on decline. A good many of these companies who are choosing not to participate are notable and well-known. That’s not to say these folks won’t be going to Vegas in January: They simply won’t be spending their declining revenues on exhibitor space.

Of course, most of these company’s representatives will be walking the show-floor and glad-handing buyers and others. They’ll also be doing business in hotel suites where they’ll showcase and hawk their latest and greatest, keep a stable of porn babes on hand, push show-deals, and prep buyers for upcoming releases. So, business will take place. But it might not line the pockets of Adult Expo’s producers to the extent it once did.

It’s not all gloom-and-doom for the jizz biz. Let’s look on the good side of things: The Republicans experienced, in the words of our fearless leader this morning, “a thumpin’” in yesterday’s mid-term elections. Ya gotta love that! Hopefully, the trend will continue and, in two years, the neo-cons will be bounced out on their ears.

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